Hungry by Bambang Yudianto (bejoalan) - Short - When a beggar gets a life lesson, who get what? 6 pages - pdf, format

Hi Bambang, just read your script. I didn't really get it I'm afraid. The motorbike rider didn't give the beggar money cos he lied yeah? But the rider never lied at the end, so the motto didn't really work unless I've got it wrong. The second scene of this seems like it's written by a different person aswell, totally different language used. Quite a few grammar/typo issues too.
Sorry mate.

As well, the message isn't clear in the script. The twist should be the beggar turns out to have more integrity than the biker, but - he just finds him ready to commit suicide and improves his english 1000% in the process. It doesn't seem you had a firm grasp on what you wanted the moral of the story to be?

thanks for the cnc.

The story is actually goes like this:
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Bakhil dont want to give any money to Pailit because he is very stingy, so he makes excuses by telling about lying morality. But it turns out that everything he said backfired on him.
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If you cant understand the story, then I really need to improve my storytelling skills. I do note some mistakes, other than you have pointed, in the story telling like I should show that Bakhil is a stingy person.

I dont really undertand about the english change though. Does the changes affect Bakhil, Pailit, or both? if it happens on Bakhil or both then it is another mistakes of mine. But I do intend the changes in Pailit languages bacause that is what I observed in here (Indonesia). Please, help me.

And about grammar/typo ... I cant really argue. It's one area that I must improve one way or another since I'm not English speaker.

thanks again. I'll try to rewrite when I have the time