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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Slay and Rescue Moderators: bert
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  Author    Slay and Rescue  (currently 1760 views)
Don
Posted: June 24th, 2008, 10:49am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Slay and Rescue by Jonathan Garland (wordartisan) - Adventure -  Prince Charming slays dragons and rescues damsels - it's his job. He's good at it. So why does his life suddenly seem to be spiralling out of control? Why is he on an unexpected grail quest? And why, with so many girls on hand, is he still unable to get any action? 128 pages - pdf, format


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screenplay_novice
Posted: July 21st, 2008, 4:08am Report to Moderator
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This story has much in common with The Princess Bride. Both are action comedies with witty dialogue. However, The Princess Bride was more of a family film. I can see this translated to film. It's humor is very off-beat and there was some excellent dialogue.
I noticed that you kept the character names Caps through out the entire script. Another thing, even though I like witty and grabbing dialogue, I felt it was a bit dialogue heavy. I felt that certain scenes needed more description.
The script was enjoyable. I read it strait through.
Jerry


If you can't beat 'em, then get yourself a bigger stick!
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Ojoe
Posted: August 10th, 2008, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
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A very good read.  I may have to get the book to see what differences there are.  Was your goal to stick to the book or to make it your own?

My only gripe is the last few lines, including the final one, "I think we should eat."
Maybe cut out the last two dialogue parts, or make them stronger.
That's my 1/2 a penny...
All in all, this was an enjoyable adventure.
thanks for the read.

Joe


My scripts:
Starfall
Love trouble on family game night
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