Teo,
Not everyone, here, uses Final Draft and will be unable to open your script. Save it as a .pdf or a .doc and resubmit it.
While I understand what you were trying to do, with this work, I don't think it worked. You want to tell your story with rapid-fire images, but you still to develop some characterization in the story. In the end, it didn't make much difference to me what happened.
I'm also a little confused with the story. I'm assuming that the clinic is an abortion clinic, but you have Miss Ramirez making a second visit in a matter a days. Am I missing something here? I don't that family health clinics (for another description) also does other gyno-things, but you shouldn't be showing them in this story.
Phil |