Hijira by Michael Cornetto - Short - An Indian boy runs away from home and finds his destiny as a Hijra. - pdf, format

Thanks for posting this Don.

This is one of my personal favourites of my Movie Poet entries.

I had to look up what a hijra was. (It’s a transvestite or a eunuch for anyone who wants to know.) It was a bit confusing at first as to whether a hijra was a group or one person. According to my dictionary, the plural is hijras, not hijra. After the very beginning, it was no longer an issue.

I don’t know how true to life this is but if it’s an accurate portrait, it’s an abhorrent practice. But then I believe circumcision is a disgusting and crude practice. I suppose the people of this Indian culture think this practice is acceptable in the same way people here in America think circumcision is acceptable despite the fact that it’s an ancient and barbaric practice tantamount to child abuse.

In any event, this is a sad story of uncivilized practices and the horrors that are inflicted on society when it collectively refuses to abandon crude ancient practices and superstitions. The flashbacks are at first a bit disorienting but one gets used to it soon enough. It was very wise of you to concentrate such a social statement on one character and his/her personal tragedy. This effectively made it personal.

You did a good job of simply reflecting society. Too often these types of stories become diatribes for the author but your work here is much more effective by simply offering a reflection far more disturbing than any commentary. The scene where Amal is “initiated” was stirring.

It’s very well written, except for maybe this: “A man f**** one of the ‘ladies’”…….I know a lot of people are fine with this type of description. To me it comes off as crude and uncreative. But here it seems out of place among the mostly so much more creative description.

Very good job here.


Breanne

When I started reading this I thought it was about Native American Indians but as soon as I read the word Rupee I was like "oh? Oh THAT India."

This was very written. Your writing is superb. I loved how You have written the ANGRY man and FRIGHTENED man and used their emotion as their character name. That was a stroke of genius. Made me wish I had thought of that.

Not much of a story for this one really and felt like a fly on the wall look at some kooky sub-culture tradition.

I had to Wiki Hijra and was impressed how true and accurate to the subject you were with your script.

Which I just have to ask, where did you discover this obscure bit of trivia. I have never ever heard of Hajri and I watch a hell of a lot of Discovery and National Geogaphric.  

Hey Breanne, Glenn

Thanks for the read and the comments.  Happy to hear you both liked it.

I’m not sure about the plural.  By ‘my dictionary’ did you mean a literal dictionary or your internal dictionary?   I’ve had several Indians read this and they never complained about the plural (but that doesn’t necessarily mean I have it correct)

This is very close to a true story, a sad one.  I tried to present it in observer mode, without much editorialising or explaining.

I found out about the Hijra while having a very weird discussion about hermaphrodites at work.   An Indian co-worker shyly mentioned what hermaphrodites were like in India.  I was immediately fascinated by this culture I had never heard of before.   For the next few weeks I badgered him about the subject at work. It was like pulling teeth, he was afraid to talk about them, but I managed to get quite a bit of information about the Hijra from him (It was his uncle’s store).  The rest was research and travel experience.

Breanne – Don’t you think that it is appropriate to use the word f*** when you want to imply a crude act?  Why would one water it down?  What word would you suggest?

Cheers.

Well, this was totally different. Never read something like this. I had to read it two times to get it completely.

This was informative as a script, because i don't know much about Indian culture, beside the fact that they respect the cow.

The writing it superb, the story is weird which i like.

Cheers.

Hey Nik.  

Thanks for reading and your comments.  Happy to hear that you enjoyed it and learned something.

I'll admit that I was confused for the first half of the script or so about what was going on, though when the Amal recieved his new name, the same as the female hooker, I realized that I'd missed the jump back in time.

Going back and reading the first half again made the story a lot more enjoyable. Obivously I didn't get the significance of "oh s***! she is going to lift her robe!" until a second read.

Overall the descriptions were brilliant, I was wincing during the scene where Amal becomes a hijra, but I still wasn't sure what a hijra was until reading the comments here. I think if possible you should try to define the word in the script or, since you mentioned you wrote this because you were fascinated by the practice, maybe a subtitle or voice-over at the end of the script informing the audience that the "hijra" as a cultural practice still exist today. An enjoyable, informative read!

Hey Bob,

Thanks for the read and the comments.  Happy to hear you enjoyed it.

Though what you say about defining the term makes a lot of sense, if you look at it from the angle of informing the reader, I feel hesitant about putting a blatant definition of the word in the script.  

If I were writing anything else - say about a cobber.  Not everyone would know what a cobber was but I wouldn't define it in my script. I would expect them to look it up if they didn't know what it meant.  The same would be true of any other word.

And you even have it better in this script because the script itself defines Hijra. As you said, you got it on the second read.

Cheers,

Michael

  

Excellent!

I look forward to a full length script by you.

arm me with harmony,
R

Michael,

This was very different. It was well written, scenes flowed well from one to the next, and I liked how you had a lot of twists within this short script. Nice job.

I didn't know about the hijra. I admit I did google them.
The call themselves the third sex...
Wow.
There's nothing (no spelling or things that didn't make sense) in this script to bust you on...
It must be a very lonely lifestyle for them.
I don't know what to say...

Cindy

Hey Robin,

Thanks for the read and the comment.  Glad you enjoyed it.  I'll let you know when I have a feature I'd like you to read

Hey Cindy,

Thanks for the read and the comments.  Sorry that it left you speechless   I was pretty amazed too when I found out about this subculture but the Hijra aren't lonely in India they are revered and hated but they are also very popular in Bollywood movies. I know anyone but the Indians have to google them, I'm not sure if I want to be so blatant as to provide a definition in the actions.  

I'll try to post something more uplifting next time.

Cheers,

Michael

Michael,

I don't think you need to put a definition in the action.

I didn't have a problem with it at all. Everything was shown to me in your script.

I just googled to see if they were really real, and to learn more about them.

Uplifting or not, I'll check out your next script.

Cindy

Hey MC,

An interesting read, different, but interesting.

My problem with this story is that I think it's too short to work effectively. As it stands right now, I feel the main focus of the story is on HOW Amal becomes a Hijra and not WHY. Obviously living with his parents wasn't exactly doing it for him and I think you could have showed a little more of that cos' I'm not really feeling anything for him or his situation. That's probably also why I feel the story is incomplete. Don't get me wrong, what little story there is in this piece is really good but the narrative is almost documentar'ish - like Glenn said, it's like being a fly on the wall.

I also found it somewhat perculiar that you made the Guru-Hijra (and possibly the whole group of Hijras) come across as relatively evil persons. I don't think that was neseccary.

The writing was top-notch though and I was impressed how seamlessly you faded from present to flashback and back.

Cheers
Rob

Hey Rob,

I have had other people make that comment.  This was written for a Movie Poet contest so it had a five-page limit.  While I know that's not the greatest reason, it's the reason it's so short.  And while I kind of agree that it should be longer, I think there is something to be said for the sort of detached almost docco feel you get from it the way it is.  Probably, sometime in the future, I will extend it (especially if someone shows interest in producing it).

I don't think I made any kind of value judgements about the Hijra at all.  Actually the way Kishori becomes a Hijra is a true story.  I just recounted it.  Can you point out some examples of where you think I'm trying to make them evil?

Glad you liked the writing and cheers for the read and the comments.

Michael