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Project Greenthumb by James C - Comedy, Action - The cost of marijuana has become too expensive in California, and Project Greenthumb has taken it upon themselves to steal the weed from dealers and redistribute it for a lower price. On one of the jobs they come across an old business partner, and things really go through the roof. 93 pages - doc, format
You have an excellent plot that is full of action and mayhem and moves along like the rapid fire of a machine gun. The simplicity of the story allows for little set up so you quickly thrust the story from one action set piece to the next.
Plus the icing on the cake for me was the quirky details that made all your main characters stand out and shine bright. Rerun's rapping, Dallas constant high, the midget. Green's excitment at getting the pimped up AK.
It's the dozens of creative little details like this that I believe makes a script all the more appealing. Only a few writers here I know have the creativity to pull it off.
Dallas getting hit by a Tazzer and keeps running was a classic.
Also I had a laugh when towards the end of the script I had realization is that your story is just a take on the Robin Hood tale. Was this your intention?
The one thing you do need to fix is the formatting. It looks wrong and you need to correct it. The margins for the dialouge looked wrong.
I use a book called "elements of style for screenwriting" for all my info on script format so I can't advise you on where to go to look for correct formating info.
How do you wirte your scripts? do you use a script writing program?
Plus also your script needs a lot of polish. a lot of little mistakes and wrong words in the wrong spot.
This is a fantastic script and deserves to get a lot more reads. But to do that you need to read other peoples stuff. That's how it works around here so you better get busy.
It wasn't really my intention until I was a decent amount through the script when I realized that it was basically Robin Hood. Haha. So I just kept going on with it, and it felt like I was writing my own futuristic version of it.
I know it's not getting reads because people think it's a rip-off of Pineapple Express. It did give me the idea to write an action packed movie based around drugs. But the stories are not too similar to one another.
About the formatting...
I use only Microsoft Word. Haha. I wasn't sure exactly how the margins were supposed to be, but I'm downloading Celtx right now so I can fix that issue.
Again, thanks for your read Tonkatough, and I just started reading Perplexity Grove right now. I will have a review for you in the evening. : )
Um . . . just for the record, I've seen Pineapple Express and there is big diffrence between that movie and your script. Pineapple Express sucks and your script is cool.Pineapple Express the biggest let down out all the big movies over this summer.