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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  The A.T. Moderators: bert
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  Author    The A.T.  (currently 5222 views)
Don
Posted: September 7th, 2008, 4:35pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The A. T. by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Horror, Thriller, Suspense - Five months after her husband died, Shannon is persuaded to hike the Appalachian Trail with her friend, Terri. Along the way, they become victims of two murderers who are after them, and must fight to do everything they can to survive the A.T. Inspired by true events. 94 pages - pdf, format


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Don  -  September 29th, 2008, 11:00am
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Zombie Sean
Posted: September 7th, 2008, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for getting this up, Don.

To everyone, this is my first Thriller script, or slasher script, or whatever you want to call it script. I think I've seen enough slasher scripts to understand the basics, so I hope it's...satisfactory!

Sean


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alffy
Posted: September 11th, 2008, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Sean

Some of the descriptions about the lake and countryside are a bit unnecassary, no need to describe the reflections for me.  Sounds nice but it slows things down.

When the Policeman tells Shannon her husbands dead, he comes across as being too abrupt and lacking feeling for the situation.  A few calming words before would seem more appropriate.  Also in England, a more senior policeman/woman would probably address Shannon, whoever is most scenior at the scene.

Shannon agrees to go on the trip without a mention of her daughter, seems a bit strange after she has just told Terri that she still thinks it too early to talk to her about the passing of her father.

Terri gets changed and immediately says 'Alright, lets head out'.  I can imagine Shannon isn't too happy with this as she hasn't had a chance to change and you know what women are like lol.

How big's a black bear?  If a bear falls from a tree near me I'd crap myself more than Shannon and Terri did I think.  Also they keep repeating the dangers they may encounter, they should be relaxing and taking in the scenery.

The whole coming out to new friends scene doesn't read well, and Terri says Shannon is married which is a bit unthoughtful as Shannon is widwowed isn't she?

Terri tells Becky not to mention husbands and fathers around Shennon and she says ok.  Would she not be a bit more curious as to why not to mention them?

Girl on girl action, nice.  It was a bit obvious they were gonna kiss but the build up was interesting.  I like Reco's reaction to the situation too.

30 pages in and things are moving a bit slow but I won't judge to bad.  You've introduced Shannon and Terri nicely and given us plenty of background on their charcters.  Becky and Jonas appearence was a bit a sudden but I guess that's the case in the wolderness.  Perhaps a sighting of them before the trip begun, or a brief encounter then they meet again later, I think they become pally a bit quick.  Maybe I'm being to picky here.

I like the way you've got the girls asking about Jonas in the town, switching scenes but each follows the other.  Becky says he'd never done anything like this before but earlier she said he often walks ahead?  Maybe if she said he usually waits for her to catch up or something.  Also with the dead beaver thong and now a missing friend, aren't they a little suspicious about his whereabouts?

I've not been pointing out typo's but this one I will.  Page 50, the window blows the tree's, should be wind.


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alffy
Posted: September 11th, 2008, 12:48pm Report to Moderator
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Part 2 of my review:

I like the capture scene, though it was a tadge confusing to follow at first.  I also like the flashbacks as they reveal a little more of the conversation each time.

The finger dislocation scene made me wince.  I dislocated two fingers while playing football once, popped em back aqnd carried on...I'm from the north of England Grrr.  Mind my entire palm went black the day after.

The first 50 odd pages flew past.

Shannon's really having a hard time of it.

Reco and Frankie bicker a lot, it's quite funny.  The scene with the girls tied up is good.  Reco calming Frankie down, but I wonder why he's waiting to kill them and not doing it now, I guess I'll find out soon enough.

keys under the sun visor, this happens in a lot of films but I guess it must be an American thing cos I've never seen tis in England.  Stupid point I brought up there!

When Shannon drags Becky across the cabin floor, wouldn't it be quite noisey and alert Reco?

Reco's illing of Becky is nasty.  Also it's nice that he has a motive other than killing them for fun.

After a slow build up, the blood's certainly gushing now.  Some brutal deaths and nice to see that your characters seem to react to the pain.

Does the telephone operator know the address, I'm asking this cos I don't know and I'm not saying it's wrong.  Do they know where the call is being made from?

Got to say that I'm not keen on the ending.  The Bear thing just doesn't feel right but I'm aware this is based on true events so I wonder how true this bit is.  If this happened then I'll shut up lol.  It just seems that after all of Shannon's fighting and running she's saved by a Baby Bear that just happens to be in the tree above her then her mother appears and kills Reco.

Final thoughts, I liked this although it probably doesn't sound like I did.  It read quick enough, especially the first act although it maybe ran a few pages too long.  Like I said earlier, it was nice that the protaganists actually believed in something other than mindless violence for the sake of it.  One thing that troubled me though was that Jonas is captured and killed by Reco and Frankie who seem quite inept yet they must have overpowered him despite him being refered to as being very strong.  As for Jonas and Becky, they do arrive a little too late in the script, page 24 I think and become friends with Shannon and Terri a tad quickly, just my opinion.  Anywho I found this enjoyable and entertaining, with some good character arcs too.  The flashbacks were always pointing to Shannon having to overcome a bad situation and she of course did, but refreshingly didn't become a super hard bitch in the process.


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Zombie Sean
Posted: September 11th, 2008, 6:57pm Report to Moderator
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Alffy,

Thanks for the quick review. I'm glad you liked this, considering it's my first slasher script

- Looking back on the script, I see that the police officer immediately tells her he's dead. The "..." is a pause, so I'm sure the actor (if the script was ever produced) would know to pause, feel some sympathy...maybe I could show him lowering his head or rubbing his eyes or something. Or he could say, "It's your husband..." and Shannon could immediately get the hint.

- What a selfish mother, thinking of herself, rather than her daughter I can maybe add in a line about Shannon mentioning her daughter, then Terri can cut her off, saying Shannon can send her to her grandma's or something.

- Apparently a Black Bear can be as tall as 7 feet I'd shit myself too if one of those things fell in front of me.

-I've read a book—and mentioned it in the script—called "A Walk in the Woods" about a man and a friend of his who hike the Appalachian Trail (or at least try to) and in it, the people are always rude to one another on the trail, when, in real life, people always say "hi" and some times walk together, and what not (or so I hear). Terri turns out to be one of those people who just clicks with people she meets. I'm sure Becky is the same And yes, Shannon is widowed, and Terri knows. She just doesn't want to say anything about it so she doesn't make things awkward. I think I should clear that up.

- You would think Becky would be curious, but unless she were ignorant, she'd know better than to ask about information about someone else that's so personal that not even Terri would want to talk about it....If that makes sense

- I'm sure the capture scene is a bit hard to read at first since it's hard to give the two figures proper names, so I would say stuff like, "The figure" "the other figure" and "the figure that tackled Terri" etc.

- I've never dislocated fingers, nor to I plan to

- Yes, I like the slow build up, getting to know the characters and the surroundings, and then the last half of the movie is fast-paced and edge of your seat action.

- I loved writing the bickering of Frankie and Reco. They're crazy Christian Rednecks that get mad at even the simplest things, so it was fun coming up with stuff that they'd get mad over. And the reason why they wouldn't kill the two then was because they wanted to get the third girl before she went off to go tell police or something.

- Yeh it's an American thing. Ha ha. I don't do it though. There are too many films now that include it, so it may give a car-jacker an idea And you should know! The Descent did it and that was a British film! Even though the scene they did it in was located in America.

- Shannon moves quietly not to wake Reco up, though, when Shannon and Terri are talking, he shuts them up and doesn't even bother to go check on them, so he probably thinks they're just moving around (or is possibly already asleep).

- I don't know if it's the same in England, but whenever we dial 9-1-1, there's a computer that traces the call once the call comes in.

- The bear thing never happened, and neither did this whole act of murder. This script is inspired by an event that happened to two women on the trail (which you should have found out that very end), and has helped me get the idea to write this script. Though there are reports of bear attacks on the trail, and that mother bears would consider anything that moves a threat to their young. So, Reco kicks the bear, hurts it, gets killed, while Shannon is smart, though in much pain, and yet, is able to stay still and play dead while the bear sniffs her out. I just wanted Reco to die a gruesome death also. I didn't want Shannon to suddenly get an adrenaline rush (she should've had dozens by now ) and attack Reco and chop him up with the axe. And I didn't want the police to suddenly find them and shoot Reco down. That's not a satisfying ending (for me at least). So, I decided to let nature take its course.

- Yes, Jonas is pretty strong, but not strong enough And I was considering Shannon to become a super hard bitch, but I figured it'd be too "The Descent" than it already is, so I made her get a bit stronger, but yet, try and keep her in the normal state anyone would be if they were in her position.

Thanks again for reading. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you, as the first Simply Scripter to read this script, enjoyed it!

Sean


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Dreamscale
Posted: September 11th, 2008, 10:31pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Sean, just got done with this.  I've got alot to say, and I think you're going to like most of it quite a bit!

I'm very surprised to say this, but I really liked ths overall and thought it was very well put together and thought out.  The reason I'm surprised is because I wasn't too thrilled with the setup and expected things to go downhill from there.

I've got some gripes which I'll get to, but as I always say, either something works, or it doesn't work, and in this case, the sum of all the parts worked much better than most of the drivel out there, both in terms of scripts and actual movies.

LOTS OF SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!

Although your buildup is somewhat long and slow, it was pretty well put together and things that seemed to be meaningless, came back to have real meaning, which I like.  The talk about bears and the potential for falling out of trees on thin branches was great.  Also loved Reco's reaction of the 2 girlies Frenching...you didn't let on at all that he was going to be a major player, and sometimes that's tough in a slasher type script like this.

The dialogue mostly read very well and sounded real.  Some will say there is way too much, but if you know me at all (or my Fade to White script), you'l know that I love meaningless banter, as long as it plays real, which this did.

I actually also liked your descriptions of the surroundings, as well as things like reflections, etc. in the beginning  It added nicely to the mood and had a calming effect, which kept me wondering where and when things were going to turn ugly.  I expected an initial kill while Shannon was jogging right away, so the fact that "nothing happened" for 40 something pages worked well for me, although, again, many will say you need to get things going much earlier.

The banter between Reco and Frankie was extremely well done, and really made this work for me overall.  They proved to be great bad guys, and that's tough to pull off as well.  It totally seemed like they knew each other well and their relationship seemed very real.  It was also quite obvious who was in charge, and you pulled it off without going overboard.

The tension after things got going was intense and I actually found myself caring about what was going to happen and who was going to survive and how.  You also pulled it off quite effectively with how things played out.  I never once laughed out loud or said, "what the fuck?" when things were intense, and that's saying alot.  The comments from Reco all the way along were well done and even comical in a creepy way, but not cliched or ridiculous.

Also really liked the end and how the bears came back into play. I know Allfy didn't like this part, but I thought it was very creative and well thought out.

And your flashback scenes of Shannon and her hubby were great and totally worked the way you wove them into the ending.  At first, I didn't think they were going anywhere, especially because you kept showing virtually the same scene, a number of times, but when all played out, they worked very well, and I loved how he "spoke" to her in the end to "get up", and fight.  Nicely done!

OK, now for the downside (hey, there's always a downside, right?).

As I said up front, I didn't think this was going to work, based on the setup, and here's why.

I think my main gripes in the buildup had to do with 3 things...the fact that Shannon would do this epic trip and just leave her daughter behind for "up to a month", the lack of setup for what this "hike" would entail, and the fact that Shannon and Terri would purposely not bring along any communication, as in cell phones, radios, etc.  It just didn't feel right or seem real.

I know many mothers, and the bottom line is that, especially with a small child (and even more so based on what just happend with the father/husband), Shannon going on this trip didn't seem right and made me dislike her very much.  Also, how in the world do these 2 just take off for a month?  What kind of job allows one to go off on a month long trip just like that?

So, my advice is that you set this up by saying something that the trip was already planned, and was to include both the hubby and Terri's ex lesbo friend.  It could play off as Shannon saying to her daughter that "Daddy would have wanted it this way, so we're going through with it".  Also, I'd have Shannon's Mom already have big plans for a vaction with the daughter, maybe even overseas or something.  Kind of hint that they have money and can do things like this without worrying about work, etc., otherwise, it's a serious setback right from the start.

Next, I'd recommend that Terri lets Shannon (and us) know what the trip actually entails, and that there are towns every couple days or the like.  I was thinking initialy, "how in the world are these 2 girls, who don't seem like bigtime hikers, going to survive out in the wild for a month?"  A little setup on the logistics here would go a long way I think.

And finally, there's absolutely no reason why they wouldn't have cell phones with them or radios, just for safety sake.  And when in towns, Shannon should take every opportunity she has to check in on her daughter and tell her Mom everything's ok.  It wouldn't screw up your plot or story at all, and would totally add to the realism factor.

As for your writing, it was pretty good, but at about page 40 or so, I noticed that things started to change.  I saw alot more mistakes and things got sort of clunky and wording and phrasing became much less solid and consistent.  I think your action sequences in general weren't as well done as the rest of your writing.  I would defintely look back over this and see if you can reword, rephrase the action sequences.

Same goes for the action scenes at the cabin, as well as the chase scenes after that.  They felt clunky and you used too many sentences to say things that didn't require that much.  It took away from the tension for me, and stood out prominently for some reason.

Your kills were good but again, went into a little too much description I think.  It wasn't way overboard, but could be pulled off more effectively I think.  Sometimes, short and sweet is more effective, but I'm not saying to cut everything out at all.  Just relook at them and see what you think.

Finally, the TV scene at the end was way overdone.  Way too much info was given and it came off as overkill.  I liked the fact that you added that in, but it was just overblown for me.  Also, I would have liked to have both the Mom and daughter show up in the hospital, because it was 3 days later, and I think it would have worked well to show some closure for those 2 characters...maybe even Shannon telling her daughter about the Mom and baby bear saving her...in a sweet story kind of way.  I'd also have liked to see some sort of closure with the hubby  in the hospital room...maybe right before her daughter runs in.  It would have added alot emotionally I think, and also summed up the underlying theme as "protector" as well.

Hope this helps Sean.  As I said, I really, really liked this and could actually go into many details of what worked very well and why.  You pulled this off, and it's not an easy genre to succeed at.

Nice job, bud!





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Dreamscale
Posted: September 11th, 2008, 11:51pm Report to Moderator
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Sean, 1 more thing, and I think this is very important.  Why isn't this under "horror"?  This is totally horror, and plays out completely in the horror vein.  It's written and feels like horror and in no way should be under "Thriller".

I'd seriously repost this and put it under "horror" where it will be much more appreciated.
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Zombie Sean
Posted: September 12th, 2008, 8:19am Report to Moderator
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Dreamscale,

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it also!

Reading all the things you did like made me happy

Downside replies:

- The reason why I didn't have them bring any cell phones or any type of communication was because, as Terri put it, it was a time for relaxation and to get away from the problems at home, etc. Shannon can always use the payphones at the towns they stop at, though, you mentioned that also, so maybe I should add a scene where Shannon is talking on a payphone to her daughter or something.

- You're right about how Shannon suddenly decides to go on this trip. Do you think maybe it would work better if Terri mentions the trip when she's talking to Shannon over the phone at the beginning and how Shannon, her husband, Terri and her ex are going to go on the trip, then Shannon's husband dies, then five months later Terri mentions it again, and kind of persuades her to go, to try and make things go the way they should be? I don't know, I'll see if I can work something out.

- Please, these women are tough and can survive in the wilderness for a month any time! Ha ha I guess I have them focused more on the dangers rather than other information. Thought you kind of figure out later that there are towns a couple miles apart.

- Page 40 is when the action starts, right? If so, it was probably because I started to get excited because, well, who doesn't get excited when writing fast action that involves a lot going on? Any way, I also wanted to not be clunky with too much description so the action reads quickly, so I kind of lowered down on the detail and just did it short and simple. But with the kills, I kinda went back into clunky descriptions to give the gross-out effect

- With the ending, what information am I giving too much of? The event that just happened with Shannon and her friends? Or the actual event that happened in real life with the two women? If it's the the first, then after 3 days, I'm sure they'd have all the information possible on what happened and who was involved, that all the families of the victims (and killers) were informed and everything, so it was safe to start spilling it out. I kind of wanted to end it abruptly, without any family contact, because I didn't want to drag the ending out with dialogue spoken by the characters but end it with the news report about the two women. I dunno, I just like the way I ended it and I want to try and keep it the way I have it, though other people may not like it as much Though, I could probably have Shannon's mother and daughter sitting in a chair asleep or something, just to show that they know what happened and that they're there.

- And last, but not least, the reason why I put this under Thriller was because...well...I thought everyone put slasher scripts (or most of them) in the Thriller section rather than the Horror section...I dunno, though. Maybe


Thanks again, Dreamscale! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'll check out Fade to White, also considering the fact that it's special enough to get put in a Script Discussion thread!

Sean


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Dreamscale
Posted: September 12th, 2008, 11:27am Report to Moderator
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The actual newscast itself is just way too long and detailed.  It also repeats things a few times, like "taking a vacation", and "hiking the Appalachian Trail", etc.  It just doesn't sound like a real newscasat.  I'd say read it over a few times and you'll probably see what I mean.  It can be cut down and written better for sure.

One more thing I just thought of.  What about having Shannon laying in the hospital bed asleep, and then her hubby "speaks" to her to "wake up", or "I love you", and then her daughter runs into the room, as the newscast begins.

Just a thought.

Great job here! I hope more people read it and give you their feedback.
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Zombie Sean
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I see you what you mean with the news report. I tried cleaning it up a bit, but kept information that you'd hear in an actual report.

Sean


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Shawnkjr
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Just got to finishing this. Here's are my thoughts as a read.


-Although the descriptions in the beginning may be considered extraneous...I like it as it seems to add mood.
- The police officer comes off as brash and insensitive.

Pg. 22 - I know if I were in the situation it'd be terrifying but a black bear falling from the sky makes me chuckle

Pg. 30 - It seems weird that Becky doesn't ask any questions after Terri tells her not to mention husbands and fathers

Pg. 36 - Does a beaver have THAT much blood?

Pg. 51 - I'm so stupid. You wrote "Dawn arrives as the sky slowly gets brighter" and I'm like "Who's Dawn?"

Pg. 53 - God Damn! You really are beating the hell out of your heroine. Poor Shannon.

Pg. 55 - This scene where she walks up to the cabin form the woods reminds me sorta of Hansel and Gretal.Was that your intention?

Pg. 57 - Wow. These 2 psychos are idiots.

Pg. 72 - Jonas's Body: That's wrong on so many levels.

Pg. 75 - Terri's Death is really shocking since you developed her well and I was rooting for her and really thought she'd survive(this is in the thriller section so I didn't expect much of a body count but this is more of a slasher and should be in the Horror section). THe death is very brutal. the sequence was well done

FINISHED

Those last pages flew by quite fast. I really enjoyed this. I think it's definitely your best and definitely more mature than your past scripts. The descriptions as usual are good and the characters development I think is the best than in any of your past scripts. But the villains I thought were a bit cheesy (especially the dialogue) and very annoying. They were idiots and I was very bored of them. Also, the dialogue between Shannon and the last killer is a bit awkward. Overall I thought this was very well done and like a superior version of the movie Timber Falls.
Good Job


-SHAWN


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Zombie Sean
Posted: September 23rd, 2008, 7:03pm Report to Moderator
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Shawn,

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it!

- I have that problem where the descriptions get too descriptive, but I cleaned it up just a bit. And I also re-wrote the cop scene so the cop isn't so straightforward about it.

- Ha ha well then it looks like you fit well with Terry considering she gets scared, then ends up laughing about the scare!

- As I've said before, Becky is considerate when told not to mention something that is none of her business, considering the fact that Shannon acted weird when Becky asked bout husbands/fathers.

- I'm pretty sure a beaver doesn't have THAT much blood, but you know...

- Actually, Hansel and Gretal wasn't my intention. I didn't even include a thought of them when writing the scene.

- Yes, they are idiots. And they argue a lot. About stupid stuff. As you've read.

- You're the second person to have me consider moving this into the horror section so....I might when I send in the re-write.

Thanks again for reading. I meant for the killers to be idiotic and stupid and annoying, but I didn't really want you to get bored of them! Ha ha. I didn't know how to end the script before Reco was killed, so that's probably the reason why it sounded awkward to you. But, you know, all horror movies needs to have someone give a big speech about something before they die! And I haven't seen Timber Falls, nor do I really want to. How was it, though? Ha ha.

Sean


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Hi, I thought I'd check this script out.

Overall I think the premise and execution is solid however I do have a few suggestions and thoughts.  I'll make notes as I go:

I'm up to page 24 now.   The set up has been established pretty well.  We have a young woman who just lost her husband being persuaded to go on a hiking trip with her best friend.  This would be a more relatable senario if she didn't have a daughter to care for.   In all likelyhood I'd imagine she would stay home and try to piece together the remaining fragments of her life.  Without the daughter aspect though, I could see this working.  Just something to consider.

I do like Shannon.  She's likable and sympathetic.  Seems to have her wits about her.  A good protagonist and you've managed to weave her backstory into the script without losing any forward momentum.  I think this aspect was well done.

Page 40 - A dead beaver hangs from a tree and Jonas is missing.  Clearly something sinister is at work here.  It seems to me that not enough concern has been shown on the girls part, particularly Becky.  Her suggestion that Jonas might have pushed on to the next town seems unlikely.  It just seems the urgency level isn't quite where it should be.  Even the officer's response 'I'll keep a lookout for him' feels a little soft.  Any experienced hiker knows not to venture off on their own without telling someone of their plans.   Search and rescue would no doubt be called in.

Page 50 - The killers attack.  Two of the three girls are abducted while the other escapes.  In retrospect I can see now that you were forshadowing their appearance with the passing of shoulders along the trail, with the cashier at the store and a brief mention by one of the girls about some abductions that occurred in the area.  

Page 70 -  Shannon tracks down the killers at their cabin.  The two come across as a bit bumbling at first but turn out to be quite sadistic.   It seems now that this script has crossed over from being a true thriller into slasher territory.

I'm not sure that the girls angry reaction towards their captors while being bound is accurate of how most victims in a similar situation would act.   They're helpless and at another's mercy.  My thinking is they'd be complient or submissive - begging, bargaining, anything but trying to piss them off.  Or maybe that's just what I'd do.  Actually, that's exactly what I'd do.

Okay, finished now.  The ending played out pretty much to form, almost as one long extended chase sequence.  I think this script plays best if viewed as a slasher with elements of thriller and suspense built in.  

The wilderness survival aspect is what intially intrigued me about your script and I'm glad you played it up.  What didn't work for me was the killers' motive.  The religeous angle felt a bit overused to me.  Actually, I not even sure they need to rationalize their actions.  Does evil need an excuse?  

I like the premise for this.  In particular the setting has an isolation feel about it that lends itself well to this type of film.  The girls were vulnerable for pretty much every step of this.  The last half played out like a different movie.  Like I said this has both slasher and thriller elements.   This probably belongs in the horror section but I have a sneaking suspicion you purposely meant to disguise this as a thriller.  

-Mike


"If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein
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Zombie Sean
Posted: September 24th, 2008, 6:30pm Report to Moderator
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Mike,


Thanks for giving this a read! Like everyone else, Imma gonna take these comments into consideration.

- I kind of have to keep the daughter in, now, since it's a part of the reason for why Shannon is fighting for her life. I've re-written it already (thanks to the suggestion of someone else) and I think, and hope, I've fixed things up concerning the care for her daughter and finances and whatnot.

- I see what you mean with Jonas' disappearance. I'll work something out, including a search-and-rescue technique, or at least something similar to it.

- If you're talking about when Frankie and Reco first start talking to Terri, she's more concerned about Shannon considering she's her best friend, and is pissed off about what just happened, but won't know the severity of it later. If you're talking about later when Shannon is talking to Reco, I don't see really any dialogue that could anger the two killers until Shannon begins to defend Terri and Becky for their sexuality and sinning and stuff. She's trying to reason with the killers in a defensive manner.

- When it comes to giving evil an excuse, it's like giving the excuse for where the monster came from that's killing all the teens, like giving the reason why the man is cheating on the woman, etc. If there's no motive, then it's absurd and unrealistic. If it's just some psycho with a knife killing people for no reason, what's the point? It should be scarier if it's true, and it's true that there are actually people out there who come to the point where they kill people because of homosexuality, etc.

- Ha ha, I don't know what number you are to give me the suggestion to moving this script into the horror section, but I'm gonna move it once I send in the rewrite. I didn't disguise it as a thriller, though, I put it in the thriller section because of the fact that I view slasher scripts are thrillers and aren't exactly horrors.


Thanks for the criticism. It really helped.

Sean


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mgj
Posted: September 24th, 2008, 10:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zombie Sean

- If you're talking about when Frankie and Reco first start talking to Terri, she's more concerned about Shannon considering she's her best friend, and is pissed off about what just happened, but won't know the severity of it later.


Yeah, that's what I meant.  That's fair enough.  Again though, if it where me...  



Quoted from Zombie Sean

- When it comes to giving evil an excuse, it's like giving the excuse for where the monster came from that's killing all the teens, like giving the reason why the man is cheating on the woman, etc. If there's no motive, then it's absurd and unrealistic. If it's just some psycho with a knife killing people for no reason, what's the point? It should be scarier if it's true, and it's true that there are actually people out there who come to the point where they kill people because of homosexuality, etc.


That's all factually true.  I can't disagree.  My thinking was that these guys seemed to be pretty hateful, that if homosexuality never existed in the world they would find something else to fuel their hatred.  That's all I meant by evil not needing an excuse.  Not knowing can be unsettling too in its own way but I see your point.  If you provide a reason then it becomes something that is instantly relatable and hits closer to home.







"If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein
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