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The Howl of the Manta by Jorge Alarcon-Swaby - Short - Two young men go biking on an advanture, but when three other guys are in the same area, something goes terible wrong. 7 pages - doc, format
I'm guessing English is not your mother tongue. Is this story a first draft? There are alot of errors regarding your grammar, spelling and format. Some people use a free program called Celtx that will help with your formatting.
Onto your story. (SPOILERS)
I must say that I saw this coming a mile off. A car driven by drunks, two people cycling. I was wondering what the premise was. But this story could be a lot better. Change the premise. May I suggest speeding up to the crash by cutting it down to two pages and then turn it into a horror. That's what I thought it was going to be going by the title.
The cyclists are travelling up the lane to the hut, a howl can be heard along the way, a crash happens, the howl is louder. Etc...
If you do a re-write and change the premise, then I'll be happy to read it again.
All the best.
Javier
p.s. I may have Spanish name like yourself, but I grew up in Ireland. Wished I learnt my mother tongue. Ah well.
Thanks alot for the critizim and the advice, This was my first script ever so I expected this, I will take what you said and try to improve on my next one.