Mangia by Michael Cornetto - Short, Comedy - Giorgio has a lot of childhood s*** built up inside and it's causing him to overeat.  Worse, yet, he's constipated.  The two can be a very dangerous combination. 6 pages - pdf, format

Hahahaha.

Oh man, after reading that logline I couldn't resist opening this up and was pleasantly disgusted.  What can I say?  The logline pretty much says everything that happens and it goes in that order.  You went from psychological trauma to what is quite possibly the most uncomfortable position a person can find themselves in.  You see the clogged toilet frequently, but I liked how you kept pushing for something a little more nasty.  He uses the cup, he fills the sink, he tries to get it in the shower, then ultimately takes a dump out the window.  

I don't know how much more you can do with this or what your long-term goals are or if you just wanted to deliver a laugh.  I laughed.  It was gross, it was funny.  I really don't know what else to say.  For what it was I enjoyed it.  

Nice job!

Hi Michael,

SPOILERS

Toilet humour isn't suppose to be this funny.  You really painted the pitcure well.  You need to fix the line:

pg 6 - I`t` won’t stop runnin’.

May I suggest that when Bernadette elbows Giorgio that it has started an eruption in his bowels.  The catalyse.

A great read, premise, from start to finish.

All the best.


Javier

Hey Michael,

Just had a read of this, and like Greg said you do see this situation quite a bit, but you took it a step further in the grossness level.  Was this something for MoviePoet?

I'm a little torn on the window thing, but ultimately, I guess he had nowhere else to go.

Haha.  Cornetto, you really run hot and cold, don't you?

Some of your pieces work marvelously for me, and some...just...don't.

Have you actually played this out in your head -- with a director's eye?

It may be slightly amusing to read, but who would want to actually watch this?  Even John Waters would raise an eyebrow.

I don't know.  I guess my primary feedback for you is that I appreciate your grown-up stuff better.

Hey guys, thanks for the read and the comments. 3 out of 4 of you enjoying the read ain't so bad.  To answer some of the questions.

- This is meant to deliver a laugh.  
- I don't think I would ever lengthen this or even rewrite it.  Though I may reuse Giorgio.
- Yes, Bernadette started it with the jab to his guts.
- This wasn't for Movie Poet - it was however for another contest.  It came in third but it tied with so many other scripts that it pretty much means it got an average rating.
- I run hot and cold but I also do lots of other temperatures.  What can I say? I'm versatile!
- Yep. I can picture this filmed.  I know you probably didn't want to picture it from the script but I hope that you were able to. I also think it would find an appreciative audience.
- I don't think this would raise anything on John Waters - except hopefully a chuckle.
- I fully realise that some people don't like toilet humour but I think I made it entirely clear from the log line what this script was about.

Cheers again guys!

Michael

I kinda liked it, reminded me a of a few of the trips I've had to the bathroom in my life. Hey, s*** happens.

Don't know about the toilet overflowing that fast though. It would take at least two BIG flushes for the water to get anywhere near the edge. Even if the toilet is broken it's still stretching it a bit.

Loved the Italian mama in the opening, especially her dialog.

Hey Rob,

Thanks for the read and the comments.  

It's stretching it but this is a comedy and there is an indication of voluminous water displacement before hand.

Cheers again.

BTW looking forward to reading your Thing.    

This was a funny and gross script Michael.  Like previous comments I too am unsure of crapping out the window, especially at a strangers house where they would find the 'mess' eventually, but it worked on a comedic level.

Kinda makes me squirm to think about the steaks covered in faecal matter... eww!

Also, would Giorgio really see a shrink for his constipation? Just makes sense to immediately go to a pharmacy and get some laxatives.

Hi Michael,

I loved the script very funny, and very different from the other scripts i read from you. I read the script after watching Family Guy, and i had Giorgio in mind played by Peter Griffin hehe.

I see you keep your latest short are easily to produce, this one is no different.

Keep it up.
Nik

Haha, gross but humorous is all I have to say. You really have a good idea of who your characters are and it's obvious you're going for the gross-out laugh.

Two problems though, first, the scene where Giorgio ate the chocolate was a little weird to me. I just expected that he was sneakily eating the laxative and it wasn't until he dropped the box that I realized we weren't supposed to know. Maybe if you had a line beforehand to help mislead us, such as his wife telling him he better not have gone out to buy more candy or him checking with the doctor to make sure the pharmacy also sells his favorite bar of chocolate.

Also, may I suggest that "What?" be replaced with "Oh s***!" as the last line of the script?

Hey Yohn, Nik, and Ian,

Glad you guys had a laugh.

Yohn - The whole idea is Giorgio is an idiot, a fool.  This is why he is seen at the shrink for his constipation - it's showing you his character.  It isn't so hard to believe that someone who would see a shrink for that reason would end up crapping out a window.

Nik - yep, trying to keep them cheap and easy to produce atm.

Ian - good suggestion about the chocolate bar.  I hadn't really thought about that but it would make the chocolate scene work better.  I chose What as the last line because the implication is that Giorgio has no clue why everyone is staring at him.  Oh s*** would imply that he has the ability to put two and two together and make four. Which he doesn't.  

Thank you all for the read and the comments.

I know this is a little off topic but here's one way to de-constipate yourself...

Ingredients:

- 3 tablespoons vegetable oil or ghee (clarified butter)
- 1 medium onion - finely chopped
- 4 cloves garlic - peeled and sliced
- 1.5 inch piece root ginger - peeled and thinly sliced (it should look about the same volume as the garlic)
- 3 fleshy green chillies - veined then chopped (optional but you're a pussy if you don't use 'em)
- half teaspoon turmeric powder
- half teaspoon ground cumin seed
- half teaspoon ground coriander seed
- 5 tablespoons plain passata (smooth, thick, sieved tomatoes, US = purée) or 1 tablespoon concentrated tomato purée (US = paste) mixed with 4 tablespoons water.

Method:

-Heat the oil in a heavy pan then add the chopped onion and stir for a few minutes with the heat on high.
- Add the ginger, garlic and green chilli (if using). Stir for 30 seconds then put the heat down to very low.
- Cook for 15 minutes stirring from time to time making sure nothing browns or burns.
- Add the turmeric, cumin and coriander and cook, still very gently, for a further 5 minutes. Don't burn the spices or the sauce will taste horrid - sprinkle on a few drops of water if you're worried.
- Take off the heat and cool a little. Put 4 fl oz cold water in a blender, add the contents of the pan and whizz until very smooth. Add the passata and stir.
- Put the puréed mixture back into the pan and cook for 20 - 30 minutes (the longer the better) over very low heat stirring occasionally. You can add a little hot water if it starts to catch on the pan but the idea is to gently "fry" the sauce which will darken in colour to an orangy brown. The final texture should be something like good tomato ketchup. Warning - it WILL gloop occasionally and splatter over your cooker, it's the price you have to pay!

Not only does this taste GREAT but it will loosen up those bowels. I made this last saturday, had it with rice and chicken, awesome! About 7-8 minutes after having finished eating my stomach started to make some funny noises...to make a long story short - that s*** came out like confetti.

This script is s***.

Oh yeah this is Simply Scripts so a more detailed review is expected.

This is a good script about s*** and funny as all hell.

Best bit was with the shrink and  "I could get rid of your s***"  miunderstanding because he got Carlos referal all mixed up.

This is you at your Oddball best Mcornetto. Keep pushing that envelope. (whatever that means)

Hope somewhere out there, a filmamaker would have the balls to shoot this script. It might not win any awards at prestigious  film festivals like Carnes or Sundance but by cripes it could easily clock up a million hits on Youtube.  

Thanks for the read and the comments Glenn.  

Happy to see you got a laugh out of it.  

I agree wholeheartedly with your last point.