All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Treat or Trick? by Stephen Francis - Short, Young Adult, Horror - Two teenage boys, home alone on Halloween, try to pick up dates on the internet --and end up with ...a little more than they bargained for. - doc, format
Wasn't bad, had some pretty creepy moments! I think you could of made the dialog a bit more mysterious when talking online, when Tanya says she's an alien it would of been scarier without saying then revealing she's an alien if it was written like that I think when she was in the house it would of been more suspenseful and intense. The story didn't really follow the hoax and the community, I think it would of been better suited for the theme if at the end you maybe revealed a bunch of hot aliens doing this everywhere, just a thought! Overall, it was entertaining, good work!
I enjoyed this one...but as mentioned above there was no hoax or scare, disbelief of the family, community, etc.
I think if this were written with regular screenwriting softwear it would have been less than 13 pages, even with size 12 font....there seemed to be a lot of space between lines.
I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.
When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.
MBCgirl =) My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
Like others have said, there are some good ideas here, but the formatting is way off, text size is wrong, and all in all, it most likely is much shorter than it seems to be.
Numerous mistakes throughout in terms of spelling and verbiage. A big prblem is that the majority of this short script takes place on a computer screen, which does not make for a very thrilliing ride.
This story dose not meet the requirements of the challenge at all. No hoax whatsoever, no warning anyone, etc.
Without meeting the theme, i'd say it was an okay story. Nothing too thrilling.
One problem i need to ask...is this something you'd want to see on screen? The ultimate goal is to have someone make what you write. And i dont see anybody wanting to make this.
Also you have the wrong font. It totally undermines the hard work other people did to wrap their story under 13 pages.
Shorts: Good Golly Miss Molly No Place Like Home New Moon Rising Yuno - BRAND-*SPANKIN*-NEW! The Ballad of Uncle Sam: An Anarchists Melody Toy Soldier This Modern Love A Virgin State of Mind
Story is good, maybe a little simplistic for the young adult group considering the games and TV shows they are exposed to. Leaving the format issues as already discovered, the dialogue between the characters was quite good. The requirements of the OWC were not wholly covered. All things considered good effort. Walford
I'm with the others in that I don't think this one really fit the theme. Technically, there was a hoax, but the two teens didn't "know better". Therein lies the problem.
From a story standpoint, though, I thought it was alright. Definitely written by somebody who's new to screenwriting based on the layout, but it wasn't REALLY off.
I think one was okay. I did like the whole talking with people in chatrooms idea, becuause it's probably true that no one is who they say they are. I also thought that the two kids were pretty funny in some of their bantering.
I did think the stuff with Tanys"the alien" didn't sound true, it was mostly forced I think.
I think this had it's moments but I don't think it worked as a whole.