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Pong Wars by Stephen Hoover & Danny Djeljosevic - Short, Comedy - PONG WARS is a short film for ultra-low budget production using the classic Pong videogame for graphics. Intended for online posting (Youtube, Funny or Die), contests, and not for profit. Note: Contains Adult language 6 pages - pdf, format
Idunno...I like the basic idea behind this, which was quite clever actually, but the dialogue (and topic) didn't do much for me. Comedy is always difficult cos' we all laugh at something different and this didn't make me laugh (or even chuckle). To tell you guys the truth, I found this to be quite boring actually. It lacked punch and that certain edge to raise it above the general mainstream mediocracy. It just sounds like two kids shooting shit.
Raise the bar. This could be much more raunchy.
Rob
Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
I almost didn't read thios because your logline went on and on about how low budget this would be. It's true, but that's not what brings people in to reading scripts.
The script was cute and the idea behind it is pretty clever. I wouldn't say it was laugh out loud funny, but it was cute. As mentioned earlier, comedy is very subjective.
Interesting concept. Used to have a Pong game way back in the day...The dialogue with the two sticks was pretty good, liked the use of the other characters in the video game world in that period...Characters are a bit bland; suggest finding comedy in the extremes...they are so different that when they confront each other it's a real clash of personalities...
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper