Super Boner! by Michael Barrett - Comedy - Desperate to complete required community service hours prior to their High School graduation, a group of friends volunteers at a Peer Outreach program where they decide to film an instructional video to be used in Sex-Ed classes. 102 pages - pdf, format

I got to page 4 of your "screenplay" and had to stop reading. I hope for your sake your young dumb and full of cum because that's the only excuse for writing something so sophomoric.

I now have read to page 15 and still think its bad. I can get by the formatting errors and even the fact that your screenplay starts off with you saying "The opening credits consist of numerous advertisements promoting sexual awareness, some of which are animated in humorous and/or obscene ways." LOL, did you just expect the director to think of something funny to put in? Here's an idea, instead of having any dialogue, just put "character says something funny." in place of all your jokes and beats. That way you won't really have to take the time to write anything. Anyway, there's probably different schools of thought on this one but there's mine.

My main problem with this story is the dialogue. It sounds like you're twelve! My only advice for you at this point is to grow up a little bit more and then start writing again.

It's obvious from the title that this isn't supposed to  the next Titanic, so i think it's safe to assume that the
"sophomoric" feel of this film is intended. I found most of it actually funny. There are things that need to be fixed, in terms of format, and the dialogue could use another revision...some of it is very strangely worded...but over all, for the type of movie it is (which is essentially purely for comedic gross out value)....i found it interesting.

I certainly have friends that talk like that and do things like that (at the time, yes we were in high school) but some still do and it's just because in the right situation...it's funny.

So yeah....Caps the name of characters when you first introduce them...I would also think about revising the flashbacks and how you present them...and general descriptions.

Quoted from banditfive I now have read to page 15 and still think its bad. I can get by the formatting errors and even the fact that your screenplay starts off with you saying "The opening credits consist of numerous advertisements promoting sexual awareness, some of which are animated in humorous and/or obscene ways." LOL, did you just expect the director to think of something funny to put in? Here's an idea, instead of having any dialogue, just put "character says something funny." in place of all your jokes and beats. That way you won't really have to take the time to write anything.

It's kind of funny, because I was just reading Judd Apatow's latest script "Funny People" and he does just that; no kidding.  He'll basically write "Insert Joke Here" because he knows he'll just have his really funny friends make up a joke for him later.  It's kind of annoying.

Lol no way. Well he's Judd Apatow and when you own the industry, you can put whatever the hell you want into your scripts lol.

Where did you find the script by the way? I found it on some site called rapidshare but the site looks hella sketch

I've read up to page 76. I promise to finish reading, but duty calls. There are some problems in formatting and when the characters are introed, they should be capitalized. Generally, this wouldn't be my kind of story, but lets face it, we all know or knew people just like the school kids you're writing about!

I had several overly sexed friends who talked about their exploits and conquests all of the time your, so naturally, your characters take me down memory lane. I don't have much of a problem with your dialogue, I think it's good enough for the caliber of film it's supposed to be. True, some of the dialogue is extremely crude and crass, but I think all who read or are currently reading your script need to kkep in mind that your characters and setting isn't in a religious university.

It's public school! Anyhoo, it's blatantly for the Nationally Lampon minded. Work on the formatting and you should have a fairly decent script, whether the story is good or not. By the way, I think the story is very simplistic and works well with what you're intending to convey.

Again, not my cup of tea, but I did find my self laughing a few times. Now if you'll pardon me, I need to pray myself out of hell for even partially enjoying it!   

I laughed a lot throughout your script.  I would advise cutting the constant flashbacks.  Also, you're guarenteed a NC-17 rating. NC-17 is a hard sell, even for an established writer.