Matrix 4 - The Super Matrix by PD Wood - Action - Neo’s death propels him into a transitory world where a seductive woman, a mythic creature, and an intense battle give him hints of the spellbinding truths to come.  121 pages - pdf, format

all i can say is wow. that was amazing, truly amazing. i saw it up on the screen and everything fit; from yellow code to following Matrix 3. it had me right out of the gate and it didn't stop until i was done. straight through without pause. wow.

cloroxmartini,

I appreciate your enthusiastic review. Always nice to have the first one be positive. Thanks.

And a note to other potential readers: The title has meet with some mixed reviews. Consequently, I'm thinking of changing it because people often think of Super Mario or Super Man when they hear it. It puts some people off and makes them less likely to read it.

My intention was to have the "Super" in the title refer to its alternate meaning of "over or above" as in "superimposed" and not its primary meaning of "awesome or powerful" as in "supercharged".

I really hope people will check it out and not simply "judge the book by its cover".

PD Wood

I had commented on the actual website for the Super Matrix...but I thought I'd give it some publicity here too...

The only point of real confusion I found was at the conclusion of the Smith storyline...does it have a conclusion?  One minute the clones are all over the place, and it seems like they are overtaking the machine city and the next...I guess I just need some clarification on that point.

And after much pondering, I think you could have spent a little more time on Morpheus, Niobe and friends in Zion.

Overall, however, I still loved it and I commend you, (again) for all the time effort, and plain good story-telling that went into it.  As cloroxmartini said, "Wow."

- Wolf Out.

WhiteSheWolf,

Thanks so much for the kind words. It was a blast to write, too.

The Smith thing pretty much ends there, sorry to say. There's a lot of open-ended threads and chewy possibilities. Same with Morpheus, Niobe, and Zion.

It's that damned screenplay page limitation thing! Damn!

I suppose one might be inclined to pick up where I left off a some point. Another screenplay, perhaps? I really wanted to focus on the world of the Super Matrix more than anything else. I think I did a pretty good job with that. I guess something was bound to get less attention than deserved. My apologies. Hope it didn't leave too much to the muses.

PD Wood

Reader alert: The next comment has lots of "spoilers" in it, so read the screenplay first if you want to maintain the suspense and surprise.

I just finished it, and wanted to say nice job.

To be honest, when I first clicked on this I wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was very visually written, probably the best script I've read here thus far (and one of the few I've actually managed to finish). way to go.

>>> My intention was to have the "Super" in the title refer to its alternate meaning of "over or above" as in "superimposed" and not its primary meaning of "awesome or powerful" as in "supercharged".

I think the word you're looking for here is "Meta." It's Greek for higher or above -- as in metaphysics.  But I'm not sure the Meta-Matrix is much better a title than Super-Matrix. You might want to go with something different like "Prime Matrix.".

There were a few places where you could trim the dialogue, and avoid passive writing (i.e. Morpheus and Niobe are walking, Neo and Trinity are sitting, etc). minor stuff. And I think you could do more to differentiate the different plotlines to make it more understandable. in the first 30 pages there's way too much information hitting us. we're dealing with three different levels of reality: Matrix, SuperMatrix, and the real world. And then there are a bunch of flashbacks to earlier times and the previous war with the machines, along with the same characters at different periods in their lives (i.e. young Trinity and older Trinity, Alex/Architect, etc).

Also, too many different groups doing different things to keep track of: Morpheus and Niobe's group in the matrix, Neo and the Architect at the source, the Architect and his family in the real world, Leena and the androids in the past, Victor and Persephone at different periods as well as in the matrix, Smith and Marouk, the Oracle, Rachel, and other minor characters that we're briefly introduced to (like the staff that monitors the Source). It starts to become jumbled, so trimming it down and focusing on the key players would help, as we don't know who's integral or not at this point. If you compare to the matrix movies, the plots are kept tighter, and each character we meet builds to something else and ultimately the finale. Also, who are we supposed to attach ourselves to? In the matrix movies we follow Neo, and then the other characters (Morpheus, Trinity) after we meet them through Neo. Here characters pop up at random with no clear progression or reason for introduction.

You need to pick out the spine of your story and build around that. I think it's Neo exiting the Matrix and discovering the SuperMatrix, this is the main plotline. Then you've got the history behind the building of the Source/supermatrix/cortex, and the rebel androids who tried to infiltrate it which is interesting and maybe important, but has already taken place in the past. I'm not sure the Morpheus, Niobe, and Lock plotline is very critical to the story, even though it's a big chunk that runs throughout the script. You could use it in the intro as the jumping off point, utilizing familiar characters and plot progression to launch into the new storyline, but keeping it going unnecessarily confuses the overall direction of the script and the new storyline you're trying to build. And then there are plotlines that don't go anywhere. I think it's a cool notion that Victor and Persephone are related to the Architect (and mother of Trinity) who insert themselves into the Matrix and get lost, but while this is potentially fertile ground to build on, it isn't really taken anywhere or resolved. There's a lot of stuff going on and characters running into each other: like Seraph sparring with Smith, then Smith meeting with Victor/Persephone, and Victor/Persephone meeting Seraph and Oracle, Oracle then talking with the Architect, and going back into the Matrix to meet with Morpheus and his crew. It's way too much stuff going on just for the sake of action. And then there are the Neo/Trinity scenes continuing their romace in the real world that serve little or no purpose, other than exposition/explanation, but kills the pace and dynamic mood you're trying to establish around them. And after all that, I find it strange that Neo's ex-girlfriend Rachel having Neo's special baby is tacked on at the end as the kicker.

IMHO, please figure out your main story arc, and then build your stakes around it. From what I can see, there are no critical stakes here. Neo has reached a truce with the machines in the Matrix at the conclusion of the 3rd film, thereby ensuring that Zion is safe in what turns out to be just another facet of the SuperMatrix anyway. The war between the androids and the humans (though cool and well written) is already in the past and well over by the present, and that relieves the tension of the battle since we already know the outcome. Smith fighting to take over Machine city is just one machine bad guy fighting another machine bad guy, not to mention anti-climactic and ends abruptly with no resolution. Then the various pissing contests between Smith and Victor/Persephone and Oracle triangle as the main power players in the matrix don't build to anything either. Neo, the main character, doesn't do anything at all. He's simply an observer, who's being filled in on the facts by different characters (the Architect, Oracle, and Trinity) who tell him exactly the same thing over and over again (i.e. about the SuperMatrix and the Source). And I'm not sure from who's perspective we're reliving the flashbacks: is it the Architect, Trinity, Victor/Persephone? Does it even matter? If you compare it to the original Matrix, the history lesson is one long sequence directed by Morpheus in the middle of the film to educate Neo. We know who's directing it, and why it needs to be there. The same can't be said for your flashback sequences, which take place all over and pop up at random, with little or no direction.

And though the matrix story tends to be heavy on the dialogue, I think there are places where there's just too much talk that tells us little that we need to know (like the big chunks of dialogue on art and biochemistry between pp. 60-65). Or repeating information we've been told already again by the Architect, then Trinity, and then again by Oracle. It takes steam out of the big reveal if we're fed the same info in repeated squirts. I think your idea is pretty cool, that there is another Matrix superimposed on the present one, but you haven't quite cracked it yet. You need to figure out why it's crucial, what are the main threats facing it, and what is Neo's role in relation to its survival. Create a main conflict and build an escalating series of stakes in reaching it.

All in all, I know I may sound critical, but I really liked the writing and thought it was well done. There were some holes and areas that didn't quite add up, but it doesn't take away from good writing and nice use of visuals. I don't know what your goals are for this script (writing sample?), but I wish you the best, and keep at it.

Good thoughts on it, JC. I'm not so sure a prequal/sequal type film is all that bad here. Because, really, where are you supposed to go from 3? I think I understand what you mean about critical stakes. Two things at stake are bound in the current android conflict in the "real" world, which we see little of in present time, and the specter of Agent Smith actually getting into the "real" world. All of the little things (past and present) that you hint at cutting out, for me, are the spice in this Matrix 4 recipe. Considering that, this could easily have been a follow on book, however I had no problem "seeing" it all on screen (good books will do that). It's the nature of the matrix to be unresolved to some degree, and to lead to more puzzles. Even after 3 ended, there were hints that the current peace would not last. Staying in the matrix 3 world leaves precious little left to develop. Neo could not possibly come back to life and then rule as a benevolent dictator. He died a messiah's death, and that was that. I saw this as the only way out (to steal from Costner's old film) and new breath to the story. While I liked the writing as well, I really enjoyed the story, too, and the history lesson. Would it play on the screen like I saw it? You give me pause; maybe it would. I'll have to read it again.

It's a tough challenge to try and write a sequel to the matrix series. I think it can be done, but you really need to figure out the basic premise and why it's essential to the plot. I don't think you've quite pulled that off here. As I said before, the writing itself is good, but you fall short in the area of story and structure. What you've got are a series of vignettes about the Matrix, but not a cohesive story. You take any of the separate plots -- the android commandos, victor and persephone, smith's re-emergence in the matrix, etc -- and they can all be told separately, and have little or no connection to each other. It's a bunch of different plotlines shuffled together into a feature. It's more like a collection of Animatrix stories than a real matrix movie. You see the difference?  

And I'm not sure you've answered the basic question -- why is the SuperMatrix necessary? What purpose does it serve? We understand why the Matrix was created, so that machines can use humans as batteries, but what corresponding reason is there for the SuperMatrix? Your explanation that the SuperMatrix keeps the machines distracted doesn't hold up under scrutiny. Anything inside the Cortex isn't a machine, it's a sentient program, and they're trapped in there, so they pose no threat. Machines outside the program already exit and operate on their own (i.e. the androids) so they aren't impacted at all by the SuperMatrix, if they're going to become self-aware, it's going to happen regardless of what's happening inside the Cortex, and there what you have is a giant game of 'The Sims' going on inside, with the architect and his staff observing. And if things get hairy, and the sentient programs go rogue and start to mess things up, you can always pull the plug -- problem solved.  

The question you should be asking isn't whether you can "see it" onscreen (I can, and that's why I like the writing), but rather is this a real story you have here? And I'm afraid the answer is no. There is no continuous plot. There is no primary protagonist. There are no escalating series of stakes. What you do have are a bunch of separate vignettes stitched together, which is fine in and of itself (i.e. the Animatrix), but it's not a real feature.  You might consider re-purposing this as a collection of Matrix themed tales, or stand alone "what-if" tangents, rather than as a sequeal to the Matrix trilogy itself. As a fan of the Matrix, I think there are tons of possibilities to expand on the Matrix universe, which is what I think you have done. But to make this a real sequel, you're going to have to try and find a way to tie everything together, and incorporate Neo as an active character within the plot.

JC, I didn't write it (PD Wood did) I only read it and really liked it. Things that are issues for you didn't even occur to me, so I was trying to figure out if what you bring up would occur to me should I see it on the screen.

You are correct about technology holding up under scrutiny, but so many very (financially) successful movies would not hold up if the audience had long enough to think about it. Even then, some money makers still don't hold up, INDY 4 for example. I don't think some movies would ever be written if the writer had to stop and justify every techy part of the film. So give just enough and lead them fast past the curtain.

sorry, I got mixed up there mistaking you for the author.

I think it would help if you try and seperate being a fan of the Matrix from your analysis of the story itself. Put yourself in the position of a professional reader, what sorts of questions would you be asking:

-- what is the main plot?

-- who is the protagonist, and what are his goals?

-- what stands in the way of the hero?

-- what is at stake, and what does the hero risk to achieve his aims?

-- what is the central conflict, and how does the action build up to it?

-- how do the subplots tie into the main plot?

-- what sort of character arc does the hero undergo?

-- what is the beginning, middle, and end?

It's these type of questions that reveal we don't have a real story here. What we've got are a bunch of Matrix-themed vignettes shuffled together in the form of a feature, but it's not a story in and of itself. I'm not saying this to bash what he's written, I'm just pointing out the facts.

Matrix fans will enjoy this b/c we're reunited with familiar characters after the end of the Matrix saga, and get to see some of the back stories expanded upon. And if that's his goal, he's done a good job. There are plenty of folks who liked the Animatrix vignettes, and want more of the same. But this is different than an actual Matrix sequel. I'm not saying a sequel can't be written, but it hasn't been done here.

Wow,

I take a few days off for vacation and come back to all sorts of new discussion. I hardly know where to begin, there's so much to think about here.

I just finished it, and wanted to say nice job.

To be honest, when I first clicked on this I wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was very visually written, probably the best script I've read here thus far (and one of the few I've actually managed to finish). Way to go.

John C, I can't ask for nicer compliments than these. Thanks.

" My intention was to have the "Super" in the title refer to its alternate meaning of "over or above" as in "superimposed" and not its primary meaning of "awesome or powerful" as in "supercharged".

I think the word you're looking for here is "Meta." It's Greek for higher or above -- as in metaphysics.  But I'm not sure the Meta-Matrix is much better a title than Super-Matrix. You might want to go with something different like "Prime Matrix."

The title gets lots of attention, mostly negative. Actually, the original title was Matrix Rememory. Better?

There were a few places where you could trim the dialogue, and avoid passive writing (i.e. Morpheus and Niobe are walking, Neo and Trinity are sitting, etc). minor stuff. And I think you could do more to differentiate the different plotlines to make it more understandable. in the first 30 pages there's way too much information hitting us. we're dealing with three different levels of reality: Matrix, SuperMatrix, and the real world. And then there are a bunch of flashbacks to earlier times and the previous war with the machines, along with the same characters at different periods in their lives (i.e. young Trinity and older Trinity, Alex/Architect, etc).

I agree with all these points.

Also, too many different groups doing different things to keep track of: Morpheus and Niobe's group in the matrix, Neo and the Architect at the source, the Architect and his family in the real world, Leena and the androids in the past, Victor and Persephone at different periods as well as in the matrix, Smith and Marouk, the Oracle, Rachel, and other minor characters that we're briefly introduced to (like the staff that monitors the Source). It starts to become jumbled, so trimming it down and focusing on the key players would help, as we don't know who's integral or not at this point. If you compare to the matrix movies, the plots are kept tighter, and each character we meet builds to something else and ultimately the finale. Also, who are we supposed to attach ourselves to? In the matrix movies we follow Neo, and then the other characters (Morpheus, Trinity) after we meet them through Neo. Here characters pop up at random with no clear progression or reason for introduction.

I agree that there are a lot of different groups doing different things but I don't agree that they pop up at random with no clear progression or reason for introduction. I'll talk more about this later.

You need to pick out the spine of your story and build around that. I think it's Neo exiting the Matrix and discovering the SuperMatrix, this is the main plotline.

I actually think the spine of the story is more about Neo and Trinity's reunion. There's tension about whether their relationship can be the same as it was in Zion. Intentional or not, Trinity is complicit (along with the Architect, Persephone, and Victor) in maintaining the facade of his previous lives in the Matrix and the Super Matrix. The question is, will he hate her for it? She prepares for the worst. Luckily, his love for her is stronger than anything else. After her fears are allayed, she tries to give him a historical framework to justify her actions while at the same time introducing him to her world. (Perhaps what I should have done was make Neo initially less accepting of Trinity; this would have set up greater tension that would get resolved as she explanations her actions.)

Also, Neo must somehow find true, lasting peace in yet another reality. His reunion with Trinity and his understanding of how the Matrix and the Super Matrix came to pass combine to bring him a clarity and acceptance that finally bring him peace and, dare I say, resolution. Perfect happiness, probably not, but not a bad resolution, considering what he's been through.

This leads me to another point that addresses some of your later comments which talk about how to build a story line.  I think of the Matrix 4 as the culmination of one long story, not a separate story; it's perhaps, therefore, equivalent to the resolving third act. In this context the story's main focus is bringing resolution to Neo and Trinity; it isn't necessary that it have all the elements of first and second acts. My opinion, anyway.

Then you've got the history behind the building of the Source/Supermatrix/Cortex, and the rebel androids who tried to infiltrate it which is interesting and maybe important, but has already taken place in the past.

Perhaps not imperative, but I would say engaging, surprising and thought-provoking.

I'm not sure the Morpheus, Niobe, and Lock plotline is very critical to the story, even though it's a big chunk that runs throughout the script. You could use it in the intro as the jumping off point, utilizing familiar characters and plot progression to launch into the new storyline, but keeping it going unnecessarily confuses the overall direction of the script and the new storyline you're trying to build.

Yes, the Morpheus/Niobe/Lock/Zion thread was probably not critical and could have been left out, but I think fans would have felt the loss too dearly. Some connection to the continuing Zion world seemed necessary to me.

And then there are plotlines that don't go anywhere. I think it's a cool notion that Victor and Persephone are related to the Architect (and mother of Trinity) who insert themselves into the Matrix and get lost, but while this is potentially fertile ground to build on, it isn't really taken anywhere or resolved.

Yes, there isn't an overt resolution to some of the plot lines, BUT they do give the characters much more depth. I think it's of enough value to the overall Matrix story to set up these incredible dynamics between the related characters while also giving background to their lives, don't you? I think it's intense, IMHO.

There's a lot of stuff going on and characters running into each other: like Seraph sparring with Smith, then Smith meeting with Victor/Persephone, and Victor/Persephone meeting Seraph and Oracle, Oracle then talking with the Architect, and going back into the Matrix to meet with Morpheus and his crew. It's way too much stuff going on just for the sake of action.

Here, I'm more in agreement with you. Interesting, but not absolutely essential. And it can definitely be confusing. (continued in next reply)

And then there are the Neo/Trinity scenes continuing their romace in the real world that serve little or no purpose, other than exposition/explanation, but kills the pace and dynamic mood you're trying to establish around them.

Yeah, to me this was always the part that put a drag on the story. I think my idea of making their reunion more tense might have improved it. I may try and fix that.

And after all that, I find it strange that Neo's ex-girlfriend Rachel having Neo's special baby is tacked on at the end as the kicker.

Lots of mixed reviews on this. Yep, this may have to go.

IMHO, please figure out your main story arc, and then build your stakes around it. From what I can see, there are no critical stakes here.

Again, I think you're looking at my story as though it requires all three acts; I feel that it's a summation story, not a complete transformational arc as in a single movie where all those elements would be imperative.

Neo has reached a truce with the machines in the Matrix at the conclusion of the 3rd film, thereby ensuring that Zion is safe in what turns out to be just another facet of the SuperMatrix anyway. The war between the androids and the humans (though cool and well written) is already in the past and well over by the present, and that relieves the tension of the battle since we already know the outcome. Smith fighting to take over Machine city is just one machine bad guy fighting another machine bad guy, not to mention anti-climactic and ends abruptly with no resolution. Then the various pissing contests between Smith and Victor/Persephone and Oracle triangle as the main power players in the matrix don't build to anything either.

You make good points here. The plot threads do dangle. It's problematic.

Neo, the main character, doesn't do anything at all. He's simply an observer, who's being filled in on the facts by different characters (the Architect, Oracle, and Trinity) who tell him exactly the same thing over and over again (i.e. about the SuperMatrix and the Source). And I'm not sure from who's perspective we're reliving the flashbacks: is it the Architect, Trinity, Victor/Persephone? Does it even matter? If you compare it to the original Matrix, the history lesson is one long sequence directed by Morpheus in the middle of the film to educate Neo. We know who's directing it, and why it needs to be there. The same can't be said for your flashback sequences, which take place all over and pop up at random, with little or no direction.

Again, good points. I can't really argue with them.

And though the matrix story tends to be heavy on the dialogue, I think there are places where there's just too much talk that tells us little that we need to know (like the big chunks of dialogue on art and biochemistry between pp. 60-65).

While I think you're right about the the dialogue being heavy at times, I don't agree that the art and chemistry discussion between the young Persephone and Merovingian tells us little that we need to know. While a bit wordy and stiff, I thought it was a very important scene. It served to show the early love and, well, chemistry between these two people that are lost in the Matrix Revolutions. I think that their discussion brings a greater depth to their characters and instills a tragic irony to these initially heroic figures. Their fall from grace is that much more poignant in light of this discussion.

I used this technique in other scenes with the specific intention of deepening character's personas; I feel it's one of the cores of the story.

Or repeating information we've been told already again by the Architect, then Trinity, and then again by Oracle. It takes steam out of the big reveal if we're fed the same info in repeated squirts.

Yep, sounds right. I guess I felt that with so much going on, repeating important information might be necessary. Perhaps not.

I think your idea is pretty cool, that there is another Matrix superimposed on the present one, but you haven't quite cracked it yet. You need to figure out why it's crucial, what are the main threats facing it, and what is Neo's role in relation to its survival. Create a main conflict and build an escalating series of stakes in reaching it.

I understand this line of reasoning. It makes sense.

All in all, I know I may sound critical, but I really liked the writing and thought it was well done. There were some holes and areas that didn't quite add up, but it doesn't take away from good writing and nice use of visuals. I don't know what your goals are for this script (writing sample?), but I wish you the best, and keep at it.

John C,

I never once felt that you were critical in any but the most positive and constructive ways. I'm always impressed and indebted to anyone who takes this kind of time and attention to review my work. Your comments suggest that you're reviewing this work critically from the point of view of a seasoned screenwriter (or reader) looking at it very academically. The questions you presented to cloroxmatrini as a way to determine the proper trajectory of a good plot line are sound and familiar, but perhaps they may be too restricting for this particular story.

To put my response in perspective, I'll start by saying that the story is geared more towards the Matrix fan than to the viewer who's never scene a Matrix movie. Further, it's directed most towards the fan that likes layered stories and metaphysical undertones and less towards the fan looking for epic battles and kung-fu scenes, even though both elements are present. I think most Matrix fans would be intrigued by many of the elements that you think are superfluous; they want to know how Persephone and the Merovingian became who they are in Matrix Revolutions, they are intrigued by an Architect that is not so one dimensional, they like the idea that another Matrix exists. While not all threads play out or resolve, they give many Matrix fans what they want: thought-provoking, mind-bending concepts and possibilities. Yes, the story may not follow logical or tested screenplay form, but it whacks you over the head with ideas and possibilities. At least that's the way I view it and the way many readers have interpreted it.

Whether it would sell in Hollywood, I don't know. One thing is for sure, though; there are enough Matrix fans that would love a fourth episode that brings a whole new level of reality. Should the big guns ever come to my door and say they'd like to buy the story (if only I would tighten it up first), your comments are some of the ones I'll consult first. Thank you again for your frank, precise and, in most cases, accurate review.

PD Wood

I've started the re-read. To page 18. At this point I want to know more. I do find myself asking why the Supermatrix, but only because I've read it once before.  Again, the tone, pacing, characters, like it picks up right where we left off. I'm sucked in by what I am watching.

By page 29 we have the first real hook. The first reveal. The real world. I think Neo waking up could have come on page 19, when it should. Then right after that, all that is currently on page 19 to 27 could come next. Just jump cut right to it. That explains everything after we see Neo wake up. The wake up answers the weird travel experience when we need it and it's not 10 minutes disconnected from seeing it. When he wakes up, we ask what the hell is this, and instead of being told, we go to see why. Then come back.

Wow, Must Say I was surprised by that. I thought due to the name(don't judge a book by its cover) it wouldn't be great. But that was pretty epic. You captured everything right and if there was to be a fourth film, it would and should be exactly like that.


Good job, look forward to more work from you.

Hey script shooter,

I'm glad you looked past the title and got into the story.

(I think it's time to change that title; too many people are put off by it. So any better titles will be entertained.)

And I'm flattered that you think I captured everything right and that a fourth film should be exactly like it.

Nice little ego boost. Really made my day.

Thanks, PD Wood