Upon This Rock by Tim Mangan - Action - no logline - fdr, format

Upon This Rock by Tim Mangan - Drama - Set in 1890s New York City, an Irish immigrant worker discovers that the wealthy owner of the skyscraper is part of a family that he helped banish from Ireland years earlier.  The owner seeks vengence by creating his own banishment that involves the worker’s friends and family.  The worker fights for survival and discovers the lies told to both men by their parents.  In the end, the owner’s misdirected vengeance leads to his own destruction. 113 pages - pdf, format

Tim, you may want to submit this as a .pdf or .rtf file.  Not everyone here has Final Draft.  I do, but I'm one of the cool kids.

You also may want to provide a synopsis, too.


Phil

I enjoyed reading this script. There isn't much criticism I can give other than go back and check for errors, I noticed a few spelling mistakes here and there.
I liked how you kept your characters in character, not once did I feel the setting and the idea of them being Irish was unbelievable. It flowed so well.

The thing that I personally would like to see, would be maybe be a different ending. The ending felt too abrupt. Perhaps end it with a flashback? So, instead of the carriage just rolling away and them looking back, have that part happen but then go to a flashback, maybe of the McTanners leaving the town they get banished from on a carriage or something to that effect.

Either way, I enjoyed reading it. And I agree about the whole .fdr thing... .pdf or .rtf or even a .txt would be more accessible.

Thanks for the advice and feedback.  I resubmitted it with the logline and as a PDF.  It may be under drama - this is a bit of a cross between drama and action.