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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Silhouettes Moderators: bert
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  Author    Silhouettes  (currently 1357 views)
Don
Posted: December 29th, 2008, 4:34pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Silhouettes by Stephen Dickey - Horror - You can't even trust your own shadow nowadays. Detective Michael Roselli soon finds this out the hard way. After his father is murdered at the hands of a murderous, mysterious entity, a young detective's life is thrown into disarray. After losing everything, he has to regain everything by confronting his father's killer head on, and the end will justify the means. 120 pages - pdf, format


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libertyuk
Posted: January 1st, 2009, 10:36am Report to Moderator
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Apart from the title, this script needs a lot of rewriting. It's a novel posing as a script, but there's something there. Suggest the writer get a hold of Save The Cat! by Blake Synder AND David Trottier's Screenwriters Bible to nail the FORMATTING (far too long, most movies MUST be 90-100 pages so when they are finally distributed to movie theaters, the movies can run every two hours (90 min film with a half hour for crowds in/crowds out.) Only the very finest and established writers or those writers of period pieces, can get away with 120 whopping pages. Writers must remember A PAGE OF SCRIPT IS A MINUTE of film. Also, this writer should CUT "We see", the script IS WHAT WE SEE AND HEAR ONLY. Ergo, cut as much 'ing' words as possible, keep descriptions of characters TIGHT and brief and very visual. I read only a few pages and I could easily cut this writer's first five to ONE. Is it worth it? I think so. BB
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sadscript89
Posted: January 1st, 2009, 3:12pm Report to Moderator
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Much appreciation for the feedback. This is actually my script.
This is my very first full-length script, and my writing has become better.
I really do appreciate your suggestions. I'm always up for constructive criticism. I will say, however, that once I have something better completed, it will be posted, and I hope that you will enjoy it.

Sincerely,
sadscript89

P.S. - Thanks for the Snyder and Trottier's suggestions. I will give them a gander. Again, I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read the script, and also the time to respond.
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