Your Rig or Mine? by Bridget Reilly - Series - This is the sequel to See You Later, Mary Freighter!, the second in the series. This one focuses on the homeless character Roberta and her abusive ex-boyfriend, Matthew, who is still stalking her for possession of his truck. We see some of his crazy behavior, which includes threatening Terry with a knife. This has the result of putting Terry on the same page with Roberta, and the stage is set for a new love story. Eventually the dilemma with Matthew and the truck is resolved in a quite unexpected way. 105 pages - doc, format

This is a complete mess. What did you use to format this? It's scattered everywhere.

Your first scene description is incredibly chunky. It's basically just a wall of text. It's the reason why I didn't bother to read the rest of the script...

You could have a dyanamite story here, but no-one will ever know because they can't jump over the first hurdle.

I would try to be a little more constructive Script Monkey.

This script isn't in a 'complete mess'.  It's just the opening scene that looks chunky, the rest is pretty much readable.  Nothing more than three lines on average per paragraph.

The slugs are fine and the font should be in Courier.  The font size is correct and the characters should only be capitalised when they're introduce.

Bridget, download Celtx.  This'll help you and can save in PDF.

All the best,


Javier

It certainly looks a mess on my openoffice viewer.

Openoffice can sometimes not line up correctly from MS Word to OpenOffice.  Especially when people create new tabs that OpenOffice isn't aware of.

Yea, It might be that. I've noticed some other things in this script also.

- There needs to be a space between scene headings and descriptions.
(Could be a problem with my viewer)
- 'It is the morning of June 26th.' Why is this in the scene description? Is this date of some importance? Don't forget, it's a visual medium, we don't know this unless it appears on screen.
- I notice some words in the dialogue are italicised, I don't think you need to do that.
- When you introduce a character for the first time, you do it in capitals. You don't need to capitalize their names from that point onwards.

I will vouch for Celtx, superb piece of software. I prefer Final Draft.. but Celtx is free and easy to use.

I haven't yet looked at the script on this site, to see what it looks like. I also am not too up on the software thing; I just use what's handy in my home computer (which is not internet-connected;; that may be part of the problem.)
"This is the monring of June 26th": You may have noted that this script is the second in the series, continuing the story that was started in See You Later, Mary Freighter. So I see you didn't read the first one or you would know the significance of the date. Mary has a court date on June 26th because she got a ticket for public drinking; that's what it refers to.
When I itailicize words, it's for emphasis. I thought that was pretty universal.
I'm not sure what is meant by "chunky". I'll take a look at it.
Bridget

OK, I just looked at it. I don't see what people mean by "a mess" and "chunky." It looks quite readable to me. Please be more specific; I don't see the problem.
Bridget

Hey Bridget, I mean no insult when I say this, I mean for the good of your screenplay, witch, has an interesting plot, really it does. But the opening is a bit too long, i mean the opening sequence, if you could find a way to cut that down a bit, I think that might help.

Just my two cents, good luck.

Oh! One quick thing also, Word isn't a good way to write a script, this is GREAT software and it's online for free, trust me this is all worth it. And when your done with the script on the link i'm about to post, click "Export to PDF" as all scripts final copy IMO should be in a PDF format.

Well, hope this helps, remember, it's on the internet, you don't have to download

http://scripped.com/

Aaron, when you say it has an "interesting plot", does that mean you read the whole thing? And you only had a problem with the opening paragraph? If so, that's a little more encouraging. In fact, I could delete that entire opening scene, as it's not really necessary for the story; I just thought it was a cute way to start out.
Now, to correct a punctuation error in your last post: it should be "when you're done", not "when your done." This is typical of the kind of atrocious spelling and punctuation errors I've seen in a lot of scripts on this site, as well as the way younger people in general write nowadays. I am a stickler for such things, and it drives me nuts that people can't seem to get the basic mechanics of writing down any more. I am so good at that part, but not too hot with the formatting thing.
Bridget

I am giving you advice, and you point out that I have a spelling error in my paragraph, not cool when all I'm trying to do is help

Quoted from reillybridget I haven't yet looked at the script on this site, to see what it looks like. I also am not too up on the software thing; I just use what's handy in my home computer (which is not internet-connected;; that may be part of the problem.) "This is the monring of June 26th": You may have noted that this script is the second in the series, continuing the story that was started in See You Later, Mary Freighter. So I see you didn't read the first one or you would know the significance of the date. Mary has a court date on June 26th because she got a ticket for public drinking; that's what it refers to. When I itailicize words, it's for emphasis. I thought that was pretty universal. I'm not sure what is meant by "chunky". I'll take a look at it. Bridget

But how do we know that it's June 26th unless we see it on screen? Remember it's a visual medium, you are writing in images.

Chunky: Surplus.. more than what is needed

To answer the last question: you won't immediately know it's June 26th until you read some of the dialogue that says Mary's court date is the next day. If you'd read the previous script you'd know what the court date is about.
For the people who say I should download this software and that software, I'm not able to do that because I'm on a public access computer, and the one I have at home is not online. So unless there's some other way, people will have to make do with my using Word. I'll try to make changes I'm able to that people suggested, but I can't do it all immediately. I've been working on this series for almost three years and have a lot of material piled up.
Bridget

Bridget,

If you could get a disc or cd rom, you could d-load celtx to that and install on your home computer.  It's the best free software out there in my opinion.