Football Players Have It Tough by Tom Ready - Short, Comedy - SNL type skit where the roles in high school are reversed. Band members are popular and football players never get the girls. 11 pages - pdf, format

Funny premise, but I personally don't think you took it far enough. You swapped the roles around and that worked well, but how about extending that transformation further? At the moment you've essentially just swapped 'football players' for 'band members', and that's it. There's so much more you could do!

Why not have the jocks be the ones who don't bother studying, and the ones that drink, but STILL be the losers? So suddenly an A is the ultimate cool achievement. Also, there was a bit where the other, un-named football player encouraged John to blow off the three kegger and come to the Star Wars screening...I think that would be funnier the other way around. That the really nerdy event is the one everyone wants to be seen at. And instead of having Melvin drinking alcohol, have alcohol be uncool. Instead of just suggesting John shed the jacket, take it further - "We've really gotta set you up with some glasses and a pair of braces. And dude, tuck that shirt IN!", or something.

Finally, about the ending...I think it was a strangely uplifting one. I think, while it may be less happy, it might be better to have Melvin walk off with Stacey. That, though, is very much a personal thing.

Of course, being British and not having attended an American high school I might be missing the point here...if so, ignore everything I've posted! The writing and dialogue were fine, I just wanted you to go further.

Jon

I agree with Jonnyboy, it would be funnier the way he said it, in fact I agree completely with Jon.

It was an enjoyable script to read.

Xavier.

I loved this, although, being raised in an American school, where we were ALL considered inferior to jocks in some way or another, I had to reread a few spots to make sure i was getting it straight.

I kept thinking I was reading it wrong.  

It moved and a good pace, and the reading went very smoothly.  I think it would play out well on screen.