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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  The Stratus BorQ Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Stratus BorQ  (currently 1122 views)
Don
Posted: March 14th, 2009, 6:38am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Stratus BorQ by David L Jackson - Thriller - Blake is confronted with so many indifferences, from his relationship with his father, his attraction to Katie and the talents of his best friend, and to top it all off, an infestation that threatens the existence of women and the freewill of man, a different world he must adapt to or become part of it. - html, format


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sniper
Posted: March 15th, 2009, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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My UZI Weighs A Ton

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David,

I have just skimmed this briefly and just want to let you know that there's no reason to put " " around dialogue, it sorta goes without saying, if you know what I mean?


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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JackAction
Posted: March 19th, 2009, 12:23am Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Could use all the feedback I can get.
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JackAction
Posted: April 16th, 2009, 1:05am Report to Moderator
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For anyone who has taken the time to read this script I have made some major adjustments to plot and characters, eg. the spaceship is now a large towering old building and the explosive sequence has been changed to a boiler room entrapment. (Doc and Toric)
Trimmed back the ending to include a better wrap up.
Please feel free to add any other suggestions asap as I plan on production July 3rd.
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