SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 29th, 2024, 6:49am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October, 2009 One Week Challenge  ›  OWC - Creepville - A Halloween Tale Moderators: Administrator
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    OWC - Creepville - A Halloween Tale  (currently 3126 views)
Don
Posted: October 18th, 2009, 11:43am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
Creepville - A Halloween Tale by Dan Druff - Short, Family Horror - The residents of Creepville, U.S.A. look forward to the Halloween festival. Will the new arrivals in town embrace the celebrations? - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
MBCgirl
Posted: October 18th, 2009, 1:52pm Report to Moderator
New


Some things are better left to the imagination!

Location
Scottsdale
Posts
385
Posts Per Day
0.07
I really liked the idea behind this story....but it felt like you spent most of the time setting it up and not enough time to wrap it up and do it justice.  For me it went flat...  

Loved the characters and dialogue.  Very well done on that end.

Morgan


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Windows Live Messenger Reply: 1 - 17
alffy
Posted: October 18th, 2009, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
The bleak North East, England
Posts
2187
Posts Per Day
0.34
I thought some of the dialogue was a little unnatural and clunky.  

The idea of the monster family was cool but I wonder how they were all different monsters, were the other resident families mixed too?

There were some funny moments in here, I always like a fart gag lol.  But overall I thought the ending was a little bit of a let down.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 17
stevie
Posted: October 18th, 2009, 4:20pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Down Under
Posts
3441
Posts Per Day
0.61
Yeah, this had some good moments. It seemed a little hurried at the end - maybe the writer was panicking to finish? I know I was!

I always look if the script stays close to the them, and this was pretty close.

Have to agree with alffy - fart jokes are always good value. And the kids love them!

Ok, first one down - 28 to go!



Logged
Private Message Reply: 3 - 17
Baltis.
Posted: October 18th, 2009, 5:34pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



I normally don't get into the OWC stuff, but since it's got a monopoly on the portal page I had to skim through them and weed the good from the bad... So far, I'm 0 for 5.

This is a bath room break. I couldn't fathom reading the absurd dialogue anymore past page 7. The sad thing, there was only 13 pages to the whole thing. The dialouge was forced and redundant. The story went nowhere. If I heard the word Turd one more time I was gonna click the x button and... Guess what? I did. So, in turn, I clicked the red x button.

Passable in every sense of the word.

It reminded me of shoddy Mad TV skit spoofing the Munsters or something. Which, in turn, MAD TV sucks monkey nuts so it in itself would be a spoof.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 4 - 17
Cam17
Posted: October 18th, 2009, 6:21pm Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles
Posts
153
Posts Per Day
0.03
I liked this one.  Sort of a clever spin on the Munsters where the humans are the weirdos.  I'm gonna guess the writer is a Brit or Aussie because of the spellings of humour and odour.  I wonder which one, though? Hmm.  Nice line about Cleveland in there.  Damm, my hometown can't even catch a break during an OWC.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 17
Tommyp
Posted: October 19th, 2009, 12:12am Report to Moderator
Been Around


Continuity Is For Pussies...

Location
Australia
Posts
701
Posts Per Day
0.12
This was a good story.

I liked it how the story was based on the "monsters" perspective instead of the humans, as most OWC entries are.

It worked well in accordance with the guidelines. My only advice is that there are too many characters introduced in a few lines at the start. Maybe introduce them when they have a line to say or an action.

Well done with this, funny stuff.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 17
grademan
Posted: October 19th, 2009, 10:47am Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
Wisconsin
Posts
872
Posts Per Day
0.16
This was okay esp. for a difficult OWC. Fast read. Cool idea that poor humans don't realize how ugly they are. Light  on the horror aspect except for the tsunami at the end. More of a playful feel to it.

Gary
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 17
Dreamscale
Posted: October 19th, 2009, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



This didn't do it for me, sorry to say.  I don't see any horror here either...more like a remake of The Munsters.

Like Balt, I too grew very weary of the fart and turd jokes.  Actually, I grew very weary of all the dialogue as it was really nothing more than 1 joke after another...all jokes we've heard again and again.

I guess viewed for what this actually is, it's not all bad, but I just don't get a glint of horror here and that means it's a no from me.

Good effort though.

Revision History (1 edits)
Dreamscale  -  October 19th, 2009, 7:54pm
Logged
e-mail Reply: 8 - 17
Coding Herman
Posted: October 19th, 2009, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
New



Location
Toronto, Canada
Posts
455
Posts Per Day
0.09
Hmm....a lot of comedy and almost no horror at all. Reads more like a family comedy/drama. Too much talking between family members with nothing much happening.

Sorry, nothing much to offer as the script didn't even try to fit the challenge.


FEATURE:

Memwipe
- Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 9 - 17
Niles_Crane
Posted: October 20th, 2009, 12:44pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Really didn't like this one - as mentioned above, shows like "The Munsters" and "The Addams Family" have already explored this territory and done it much better.

A few years ago, there was an attempt to revive both these shows, and the results were very poor - childish and shoddy. I am afraid that this script reminded me more of that than the great originals.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 10 - 17
Zombie Sean
Posted: October 20th, 2009, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Colorado
Posts
1547
Posts Per Day
0.23
I thought this one was really cute. No horror really, but it was saved by the good idea of what this turned out to be. The word "turd" did get overused, and it did take a while for everything to get set up, but you had some pretty good comedy in there. Especially the end when the human family realises where they are. That was great and it put a smile on my face. Unfortunately, it didn't last long, as the build up to it just took too long, and that scene only lasted a page. I was finished reading wanting more.

Sean
Logged
Private Message Reply: 11 - 17
Blakkwolfe
Posted: October 20th, 2009, 6:04pm Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
Florida, USA
Posts
706
Posts Per Day
0.12
A lot of style with very little substance; although the style that was there was quite fun, especially Mummy's longing for the Old Days in Egypt...

And is Cleveland really so bad? They have the R&R Hall of Fame, the Indians, if I remember the video correctly, a  local economy based only on LeBron James...

The Wolf Family seems to be pretty typical foil for this sort of story; might have been more fun if they had been like Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne moving next door. Some clever dialogue and description based on the monsters and their individual monstrosities, but suggest a little more than surface level insults. Would be a fun to see all the trippy visuals animated on Cartoon Network.


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 12 - 17
steven8
Posted: October 22nd, 2009, 2:51am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts

Location
Barberton, OH
Posts
1156
Posts Per Day
0.22
Beyond the turd and fart jokes, I liked this.  I liked the Wolf family.  Good script.  This would make a good short, if we cut the turd and fart stuff, that is.  Most realistic Fall Festival yet!  


...in no particular order
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 17
malcolm3
Posted: October 22nd, 2009, 7:47am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
130
Posts Per Day
0.02
I made the terrible mistake of reading the comments to this, before actually reading the script. I was reasonably determined not to like it.

Oh, dear. I must have a juvenile sense of humour. I thought it was quite good in places.

You managed to cram a lot in and if nothing else, brought a smile to my face.

Yeah... There wasn't that much horror. So what?

The turd jokes were overdone.

Should have kept to the werewolf rolling around in turds joke as a one off and use a different take on the mother (MUMMY)

Somewhere on the lines of - her bandages become unraveled - so does she. You get the idea.

Still... I enjoyed it.  Well done.

Marks out of 10 - 6 ish
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 14 - 17
 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    October, 2009 One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006