Old Ninety-nine Face by Sonny Day - Short, Family Horror - Evan, new to the neighborhood, hears the legend of Old Ninety-nine Face, a hermit whose ghost supposedly haunts a nearby house.  As the story goes, steal something from the house on Halloween night, and the ghost of Old Ninety-nine Face will come for you.  Evan doesn't believe it, but he soon will. - pdf, format


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Well...If Old Ninety-nine Face is any indication of this years OWC...I'd say we are off to a great start.

I enjoyed this story...it totally met the challenge.  Dialogue was great...cute little bits here and there...and of course the challenge.

Very well done!  Great Job!
Morgan

I agree with MBCGirl.  This was a really well written script with just enough scare in it for the kids.  The characters were nicely developed and the pacing was just right.  The story behind Ninety-Nine Face was much like the story that everyone hears about the local haunted house.

Very good read.


Phil

Everyone has to relate to this one. I mean, doesn't Everybody have their own local haunted house tale?

I'm sure kids would get a kick out of this one. Hell, i got a kick out of it!

Really good read. Good luck with it.

This was great. I think the attention to detail made it stand out. The ghost story stood out and held its own but also had elements that everyone is familiar with. I love the name and the explanation, especially the fact that 99 sounds better than 100. I'm usually not drawn to ghost stories and have never found them as scary as they should be. I think the best ghost stories feature ghosts that were already scary when they were alive. I think you've accomplished that here. Everything pans out in a logical way yet you throw in enough embellishments that it doesn't feel so by-the-numbers. Good job.

I liked this, finally something that feels like a family story. I didn't feel that the Halloween Fest was that well used.  I kind of felt a little bit out of the ole 99 face bit.

This is a well written script but I think it suffers from just being a script that I've seen alot of. Ok it's a haunted house story but it doesn't really do much that's original it just feels like a film I've seen alot of. Alot of familiar stuff. It was still good though.

This was very cool.  Very well written and great story, likeable characters...GREAT JOB!!!  I really enjoyed it, not much else I can say.    

That was pretty good.  I don't really have any criticism about it technically.  I did think it met the challenge though it was on the young side of family.  I'm not sure this really has anything for adults in it, though maybe that's just me.   You did very well though.

****O  

Writer. This was pretty damn good! All I have to say has been said before by the other reviewers.

Gary

This is very well done!  Meets the challenge perfectly.

Writing was great, story was good, and characters were at least decent to good. I would have liked a little more uniqueness in at least 1 of them, but tehy defintely worked just fine.

Only issue I had was the time that Sadie went missing. A long time had elapsed and IMO, it was a bit late for such young children to still be up after a school day.  Obviously, the ticking clock and deadline created tension, but it was the 1 weak aspect I found in the script.

Great job here!

well, i totally disagree with everyone else, this was rubb_   ha ah just joking!

Yep, this is the thirteenth (hmm, what a coinicidence!) one I've read and is the best so far.
Two minor quibbles: the ending could be maybe a little better - i dunno, a bit more pizazz?
And Sadie's costume: when her and Evan get their photo taken, it doesn't say what she's wearing. Later when they go to the festival, it says 'Evan, Sadie and Bobby, still in costume'...  then later when she's missing, the MC descibes the witch's costume she's wearing. Nothing major, i just noticed, is all.
oh, yeah, like Jeff, I think after 11 pm would belate for a 7 year old to be out but hey, it works for the great story.
Good job!!

Very good.  An early favorite, if not one the best I've seen thus far. Familiar territory, but with enough spin to keep it fresh. Liked Bobby's choice of costume.

Suggestion is to use Mom and Dad for the parents, as there are so many other kids in the script, it's a little hard to keep track of.

Hit the OWC criteria square in the nose; fine for family viewing with some good chills, good action, and even a moral lesson (don't steal) without being preachy or heavy handed.

Some of the descriptions could be tightened a little bit. We know who already know that Master Chief is from Halo in the first paragraph, so it doesn't need to be repeated. Have a good knack for getting the voices of the kids without it sounding forced or hokey.

Really good work, and I'd be surprised if this was started on Thursday night before the deadline...

This one is really great. Great story progression, very easy read, great characters that sound natural... Straightforward and simple. Spooky. Very much to the point.

Loved it!

This was quite nice. There are some problems, but it's a good story.

I loved the name you chose and I try and read some of my favorite titles first before reading the other scripts. So far the order of interest for me according to title, has been:

Welcome to Hale
Halo Wins
The Ghostly Cut
Festival of Fear
Untitled

LOL, I guess I wasn't sure whether it was joke or the writer was at a loss.

I think Evan's introduction should have included something to help us picture him. As it stands, it's a lot of description of the room that weighs heavy and maybe cut that back a little.

I felt some of the dialogue fell flat, but I loved this:

EVAN
Then, why not call him Old A

Hundred Face?

BOBBY
Didn’t sound as good, I guess.

>A few kids scream in fright.
Don't write "in fright". That stands to reason. Just write "The kids scream."

This was a solid effort.

Sandra

I loved this.  I truly did.  So far I would say it is the most completely developed of the scripts I have read.  Great everything, is all I can say.

Bernie Madoff!  Now THAT'S scary.  You just gotta love it!