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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  On Vacation Not Together Moderators: bert
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  Author    On Vacation Not Together  (currently 1914 views)
Don
Posted: November 21st, 2009, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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On Vacation Not Together by M Rubio - Comedy - Jack and Gina are friends and both are single. Gina has a spare weekend getaway that's not going to be used so she suggests that Jack go on vacation with her, as friends… 64 pages - pdf, format


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Don  -  June 24th, 2011, 12:48pm
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cloroxmartini
Posted: November 21st, 2009, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, I'll actually say something so you don't delete my sorry ass.

I liked this. Yeah, it's a stage play, but the relationship you create between Jack and Gina is so good and you did it with dialogue (of course, what else, it's a play). It's humorous and genuine how you dig into the male-female relationship in a way that so many try for but you actually succeed. Not much else to say, very nice. Thanks for sharing it.
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c m hall
Posted: November 25th, 2009, 11:03pm Report to Moderator
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This is a very entertaining script, I especially like the part about the French press -- I like all of the physical humor in the story, I think this is a movie I would enjoy watching.
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cloroxmartini
Posted: November 26th, 2009, 10:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from c m hall
This is a very entertaining script, I especially like the part about the French press -- I like all of the physical humor in the story, I think this is a movie I would enjoy watching.


Maybe you're stumping for the writer since this is a stage play, not a film script. I also find it odd that you like all of the physical humor. The vast majority of this is dialogue. Very little physical anything.
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c m hall
Posted: November 27th, 2009, 6:44am Report to Moderator
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The vast majority is dialogue, sure, like so many of the screwball comedies of the 1940s, and in this script the dialogue is clever and through it the characters become likable -- the author adds some well timed physical comedy bits (the poncho in the rain, the coffee press) and the characters are even more likable.

I'm new to these boards and I read this script because it was the first one I saw in the comedy section.



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cloroxmartini
Posted: November 27th, 2009, 10:13am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from c m hall
The vast majority is dialogue, sure, like so many of the screwball comedies of the 1940s, and in this script the dialogue is clever and through it the characters become likable -- the author adds some well timed physical comedy bits (the poncho in the rain, the coffee press) and the characters are even more likable.

I'm new to these boards and I read this script because it was the first one I saw in the comedy section.


Sorry for my assumption then - like movie reviews in the papers faked just to get an audience. This is still a stage play (apparent from ample stage direction) and not a screenplay.

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