Burnt Photography by Andrew Lupan (GemstoneStudios) - Short, Horror - A photography student, Josh, decides to do some photography in a abadond school. Unfortunatly, this school holds a very dark past. 3 pages - pdf, format

Alright Andrew, was looking for a short horror piece and yours fits the bill.

You need to break up your paragraphs. When I opened the script I was greeted by tons of black and little white. This looks like a 9 page script smashed into 3 pages.

INT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT. DAY

should be

INT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT- DAY

"The school has not been used for many years"

You just broke a major screenwriting rule. Show, don't tell. You're writing a script, not a novel. You do this a lot throughout the script.

You only need to capitalize a characters name when you introduce them.

You call Josh "MAN", why? Actually, you don't even need to continue to call him by name. He's the only male character, just refer to him as he/him/his. The reader will know who your talking about.

Just got to the first dialog and WOW. I always try to find something positive to say, but this is bad. Try reading it out loud to yourself. Do you talk like that? I hope not.

The idea that he can only see the ghost through the camera is interesting.

Done.

Not much story. A guy goes into an abandoned school(why, to take pictures? you need a better reason) and is attacked by a ghost. It's too short. No character development what so ever, which kills any chance of suspense. Overall just pretty poor.

Sorry to sound so negative man, just being honest. If you wanna get better you should read some scripts here on the site. Learn proper format and please, PLEASE, work on your dialog.

~Zack~

Zack is right.

You capitalize the character name ONLY the first time we see him. Not all the time. I would also like to see more white pages and you don't have to number the scenes.

I suggest to read some scripts, as Zack has already suggested, but before that get some books on screenwriting. Read them over and over again.