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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Pirates vs Ninjas vs Zombis vs Robots Moderators: bert
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  Author    Pirates vs Ninjas vs Zombis vs Robots  (currently 585 views)
Don
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 7:59am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Pirates vs Ninjas vs Zombies vs Robots by Chris Pender (theolsen3) - Short - A heroic teacher saves the day for a group of students  when zombies infest the neighborhood. But, the group has a secret that is the key to a sinister plot from space. 26 pages - pdf, format


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bert
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 11:28am Report to Moderator
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Buy the ticket, take the ride

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Wow...this one is going to get bashed in pretty much the same fashion as your other two scripts, Chris.

If you really want some genuine critiques of your work -- at the very least, some tips on proper format -- you are gonna have to speak up and say hello or something.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Lightfoot
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 11:32am Report to Moderator
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Well as soon as I seen this title I decided to give it a go, but sadly the poor formating threw me off pretty quickly.

I suggest searching on the net or reading a screenwriting book to see how a screenplay is properly formated.
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usaking
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 12:42pm Report to Moderator
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hi

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Yeah, I really wanted to enjoy this script, Chris, but the horrible formatting just through me off. What surprises me is that bert said you wrote 2 other scripts, yet, you make the same mistake with this one as with the others? Did people give you advice before? If so, did you listen to the advice?

It seems to me like you have a great storytelling brain, but the problem is with your formatting. Read some scripts on SS and please try to change the way you write your scripts.
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albinopenguin
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 3:30pm Report to Moderator
Been Around


I got dipping sticks.

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Chris, myself and several others gave you advice on proper formatting on your previous two scripts. and judging by this, you clearly pissed away our suggestions. read some scripts on SS and then write.

and thanks for listening to people who were trying to help you out


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