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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Schizophrenic Lesbians Moderators: bert
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  Author    Schizophrenic Lesbians  (currently 7214 views)
Don
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Schizophrenic Lesbians by Josh J. (usaking) - Comedy -  A little girl and her grandma go on an adventure to get her tampons back from the guy who stole them. Rated NC-17 for scenes involving incest, pedophilia, cursing, nudity, sexual macarenas, hardcore sex, and mild violence. 89 pages - pdf, format


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usaking
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 1:15pm Report to Moderator
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This script took me about 4 months to finish, which is the longest time it has ever taken me to finish such a script. This is a rough draft, so it probably does have some errors. I hope people get a real laugh out of the story.
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ajr
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 1:27pm Report to Moderator
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Well after that laundry list of societal more-breakers, I'm glad you warned us about the mild violence...  


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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screenrider
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 1:45pm Report to Moderator
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Josh,

I haven't read the script, but after reading the logline I can't help but wonder why the girl and her grandma just didn't go to 7-11 and buy a new box of tampons?  
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usaking
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 1:49pm Report to Moderator
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Well, not every story is supposed to make complete sense. They could have bought tampons, but they decided not to.
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ajr
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 1:50pm Report to Moderator
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Now correct me if I'm wrong because I don't have the right plumbing, but aren't a little girl and a grandmother both outside of the age range of tampons?


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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usaking
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 2:00pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, but this takes place in a world that is close to ours, yet, isn't ours. Another dimension, if you will.
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dogglebe
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 9:11pm Report to Moderator
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I read the first five pages and stopped.  This script is just an attempt at shock humor, which never worked for me.  The references to the writer isn't helping at all.

Sorry.


Phil
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usaking
Posted: March 21st, 2010, 9:43pm Report to Moderator
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dogglebe, I would never waste time on a script for shock humor. Hell, I don't even know what shock humor is. Doesn't sound good though. It's okay if you didn't like it. Lately, my scripts haven't been for everyone, so I can understand. Thanks for reading some of it, though.
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rendevous
Posted: March 23rd, 2010, 8:27pm Report to Moderator
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Nowthennow,

Firstly. Fantastic title. Type of thing I might say in the pub.

I'll be clear. I've only had a scan. But I have to say I like what I see.

You may find this insulting. But have you tried Troma? They might be right up your alley UK, as a start. I usedta deal with them all the time. And damn nice they were too. At least in the actual U.K.

Now. They don't want screenplays at the mo. They haven't for ages. But they haven't seen your stuff. And hell, maybe they really don't wanna.

But. As they said in


Quoted from Sexy Beast
Where there's a will, and there is a fucking will, there's a way."


Be careful tho. Prep is everything. Put some thought in. A lot. A feckload.

I don't think they'd mind me saying they piss movies out (sorry, I've had a few and I'll have a few more). at such a rate it's frightening.

They might actually make your stuff. Right up your alley. No pun intended. If you do get in contact with Troma let me know what happens. I had to deal with the US side on occasion. Slightly less friendly and far more business like. So don't piss em about.

Read their terms here. And study around their site. You may find it fascinating. I do.

Either way, good luck lad.

R


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usaking
Posted: March 24th, 2010, 7:09am Report to Moderator
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rendevous - I have absolutely no interest in Troma at all. I have seen some of their films, and have only found one of them to be "so bad, it's good." The others are a complete mess, which is not what I am looking for at all. I never want any of my scripts to be seen as a "bad" script. This is simply a dark comedy. Of course, I can see why you would recommend Troma to me. I will check out the site, but again, I have zero interest in them.

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usaking  -  March 24th, 2010, 8:49am
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Trojan
Posted: March 24th, 2010, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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Um, who exactly do you see as your audience for this film? What production company could you ever imagine taking on a project such as this? What actors would want to play these characters? How would a film involving incest between a little girl and an old woman ever get made?

As bad as some of those Troma films are, at least there is some semblance of a story. I'm sorry but this script is truly awful. The dialogue is ridiculous because you are trying to be too cute for your own good. All the references to the writer are distracting and are trying to cover for the lack of a story.

I think what you consider 'black comedy', other people see as vile and offesnive. It would be interesting to see what you could come up with if you made an attempt at something that had a real story and characters. Good luck with it though.
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usaking
Posted: March 24th, 2010, 10:02am Report to Moderator
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Trojan - I do not really know the audience for this film/script. I guess I would say people, who are like me, would like this story. As I said before, I know the chances of my scripts being made into films is very little. Anyone with a brain could see that. With all my scripts, I imagine first time actors playing the parts. If you are thinking that an actor like Jack Nicholson would ever want to do this script, the answer is obviously no. Many films that are unbelieveble have been made. Who would have ever thought Pink Flamingos would have been made? Who would have ever thought Cannibal Holocaust would have been made? Certainly not me. These days, anything is possible in films.

WHAT???? I disagree with you about Troma films having semblance. I have seen many Troma films and they are the definition of bad films. To say that my story is worse than Troma stories is an insult, to me. Troma films have no meaning at all. They are made by the lowest of the low.

Of course my dialogue is ridiculous. This is a comedy, so it isn't supposed to be "Citizen Kane" dialogue. The writer is part of the story, which is one of the main points, but I guess you missed that.

It is obvious to me that my scripts aren't for everyone. Trojan, you seem to be someone who I don't think will ever like my surreal scripts. As said a few days ago, I am currently working on my first full length "normal" script. Maybe you will like it, maybe not. I just don't think you are used to surreal stories at all. This is a real story with real characters. I believe I argued this with you before. As much as you hate the story, which I know you do, this is a real story and so are the characters.

I really do wish, in the future, that you will like my scripts. I can tell you take scriptwriting seriously, and so do I. Maybe you will enjoy my next script, or at least appreciate more than my past scripts.
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CindyLKeller
Posted: March 24th, 2010, 1:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Don
Schizophrenic Lesbians by Josh J. (usaking) - Comedy -  A little girl and her grandma go on an adventure to get her tampons back from the guy who stole them. Rated NC-17 for scenes involving incest, pedophilia, cursing, nudity, sexual macarenas, hardcore sex, and mild violence. 89 pages - pdf, format


And this is supposed to be "comedy"? What, if anything, is funny?

No, I won't read it to find out. The title and logline disgusts me.



Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
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rendevous
Posted: March 24th, 2010, 3:29pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Robert Kennedy
One-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
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