Woman, First by Graham Murray - Short - The discovery of a 70,000 year old woman was just the Beginning. Her arrival could shake our civilization to its core.  - pdf, format

Hey Graham,

Welcome to Simply Scripts.   Hey all this is a fun little one pager.  You'll enjoy it.

One page from fade in to the end?

Bravo!

Gary

SPOILERS!!!!


I've never read a one page script before. My only problem is i have no idea what Eve is doing in ice. I thought they were in a paradise, not the north pole.

For a one pager, it's pretty good though. which is farken impressive. I read this a Circalit yesterday. Didn't comment over there. I don't. Popularity contest, but i see your script is winning and why...  It's one page long.

James

One page scripts are very hard to write; I thought this was one of the better ones I've seen.  Nicely done.


Phil

Too the writer...

This is the problem with one page, "Epics," it's tough to pull off a good story.  I've read one much better then what you have here.  "Dangerous World," by PC. The dialogue alone was very good.

You may think you have a story... but to be honest, you really don't.

This did nothing for me.  You really don't need, "The End," and I'd question your sluglines as well.

I understand you're new here... welcome... greetings... and good cheer.  Either or... I'm done here.

Good Luck

Ghostwriter

  

Is the writer around for feedback?

(o:

Yes, that's a bit of an inside joke...

Ghostwriter, you are very kind!     I personally think End Of The Tour is better.

Story wise I think this one leaves too many questions to be great. If the woman is 70 000 years old, why is she Arab looking? Also, if she is Arab, why is she in ice? I'm assuming these guys found this block of ice not too long ago. In other words they must have found her someplace cold. That would be pretty far from any Arab type areas. I have a hard imagining a lot of travel over long distances by this woman that long ago. Lastly, if she is the first human, how would she know about Adam? Doesn'nt that point to him already existing? In other words, how do we know he didn't come first?

Maybe I'm reading too much into this one pager?  

An interesting idea, Graham. Not much to pick at here due to its brevity but a pretty decent one pager nonethless.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Story wise I think this one leaves too many questions to be great. If the woman is 70 000 years old, why is she Arab looking? Also, if she is Arab, why is she in ice? I'm assuming these guys found this block of ice not too long ago. In other words they must have found her someplace cold. That would be pretty far from any Arab type areas. I have a hard imagining a lot of travel over long distances by this woman that long ago. Lastly, if she is the first human, how would she know about Adam? Doesn'nt that point to him already existing? In other words, how do we know he didn't come first?

According to popular science, humankind originated around the Middle East and Northern Africa. The first humans travelled via the Middle East to explore the rest of the world, covering huge distances over many years to discover Western Europe, Eastern Asia, Australia and the Americas. So it’s very likely that they could’ve been this race and colour.

Not sure about other Middle Eastern countries but I know for a fact that Pakistan gets lots of snow in northern areas.

In terms of the mysterious gentleman referred to as "Adam"...that's anybody's guess.

This script is currently the No.1 short on Circalit.

A simple click on the 'fan' button has pushed this script to the top.

Not fair on the other writers with much longer scripts.

And that's why the ranking system sucks.

Dear Col,  I know that stuff... This was however supposed to be the first woman/human and I only questioned if she would have traveled that far on her own.

Sort of interesting, and certainly not bad for a page.

What I do not get is this part:

Quoted from Tom, in the script It's almost as if she recognizes you....

But she called him Adam, not Eric.  Where does Tom get recognition from that?

Up the irony a bit with a simple name change.  Name your guy Adam instead of Eric and I do not think your ending will be spoiled -- and it might even be a little improved.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Dear Col,  I know that stuff... This was however supposed to be the first woman/human and I only questioned if she would have traveled that far on her own.

Maybe she had a fight with her man, they were on a "break" and she needed to get away. I know plenty of women who have travelled many, many miles to be rid of my a?s.

Sorry folks, I hadn't realized this had even been accepted! So many replies - all interesting. The scripts has been changed since posting, i.e. Eric is now Andrew (for reasons already noticed)
The last ice age was around 70,000 ago, hence the ice.
Yes, the woman would have Arabic looks.
Best not to read too much into it - it's just a story with a punchline that leaves the reader wondering . . . is she Eve?
Many thanks for all the (surprising) responses! Much appreciated.

Thanks for the read, bert.

Yeah, I changed the script regarding that. He is now called Andrew. AJscreenworks pointed this out, too.

I couldn't come up with another male name beginning "Ad--".

'Adonis' just wouldn't hack it

Graham