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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  A Wonderful Little Murder Moderators: bert
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  Author    A Wonderful Little Murder  (currently 903 views)
Don
Posted: June 15th, 2010, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Virginia
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A Wonderful Little Murder by Daniel J. Murphy - Short, Comedy - The silly tale of an arrogant professor whose demise on Sheffield College's campus brings about the murder of students. - doc, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: June 15th, 2010, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
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Daniel...

Nothing wrong with using wordpad but you need to know the ingrediants of a properly formatted screenplay.  Lots of free screenwriting software on the web, suggest you get some.  Celtix comes to mind.

You need spacing in your slugs.

I'd great rid of all the "Italics".  

"END OF LOCATION."  What is that?

You mentioned shooting draft.  Are you filming this?

Open up a few scripts then compare them to ours.  Big difference.

Lots of telling but know showing.  Big chunks of paragraphs.  I'd really consider limiting them to four lines.

I'd suggest reading some screenwriting books as well.

Good Luck

Ghostwriter



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ghost and_ghostie gal  -  June 16th, 2010, 4:11am
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chelsea
Posted: June 16th, 2010, 4:00am Report to Moderator
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Hi Daniel.

This is like deja vu for me. I used to write like you until I joined this site.

Please listen to the sound advice people like Ghost and others give you. I did and still do and while not being the sharpest knife in the box I've improved a helluva lot and recently had two scripts optioned.

Many people including myself have a lot to thank the guys on this site for. I really hope in the months to come you'll be singing the same song.

Best of luck!

Chelsea (formerly Emcee)


My Scripts:

Hail The Cabbie. Appx. 9 pages A taxi ride to the absolute terminus.

Pink is the New Black.10 pages. Homophobes beware!

The Bullet Train. 5 pages. Economy equals retribution.

Pillow Talk. 4 pages. It's hard to bear sometimes.

The perfect Ending. 8 pages. Amy's present is her past.



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Eoin
Posted: September 12th, 2010, 11:16am Report to Moderator
Been Around


just another ego maniac with low self esteem

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Very hard to take what you have written seriously. My guess is that you read some shooting scripts and formulated an idea that this is how spec or reading scripts are written. It's not. Even if this script is going into production, do yourself a favour and remove THIRD DRAFT stamped across each page. It looks pretentious at best and makes it very difficult to read.

Your title page is formatted incorrectly. This is true of your entire script. I strongly suggest you read some scripts and check out how they are laid out and formatted. There might be a story here, but everyones attention will be focused on your format and you are most likely going to get hammered on it.
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Jean-Pierre Chapoteau
Posted: September 12th, 2010, 3:09pm Report to Moderator
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I write.

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Just read some scripts. Like they said. You'll get the hand of it.  


I DON'T READ REVIEWS BEFORE I REVIEW!!
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