SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Home - Movie Scripts - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is October 26th, 2014, 2:56am
Please login or register.
Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the rules that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. The October One Week Challenge scripts are being posted here

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. The screenplays may not be used without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short  ›  Crazy Muhammad's Extravaganza Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Crazy Muhammad's Extravaganza  (currently 722 views)
SimplyScripts
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 2:32pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
9784
Posts Per Day
1.95
Crazy Muhammad's Extravaganza by Will Ball (albinopenguin) - Short - In this black comedic sketch, Ali goes crazy after receiving a message from Muhammad 2 pages - pdf, format


Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.



No matter where you go, there you are.
--Buckaroo Bonzai
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
ajr
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Posts
1000
Posts Per Day
0.56
Ah, Will - the best I can say about this is that I really wanted to like this.

I had no problem with the subject matter and I applaud you because you always go ballz out on these things. The trouble for me is that guys like Seth McFarlane and Parker/Stone have mined this material already and have done it a lot better.

Anthony


http://pro.imdb.com/title/tt2179059/ click here to visit GRAND AVENUE'S IMDB page
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 11
tonkatough
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 5:46pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Australia
Posts
744
Posts Per Day
0.24
"Easy to obey the Koran in a sudan!" crack me up that's so funny. It should be printed on a shirt.

I got a giggle out of this but wish I had seen it first as a short on youtube. It would have been hilarious.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 11
rendevous
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 7:01pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Posts
2115
Posts Per Day
1.04
Me say this: trying not to rock da boat. We're all in it. Together. Yeah? No?! Oh.

Anyways. Folks say dis to me. Not Me, me. The locals will follow. Oh yes.

Provocative title. It does what it sez on da tin.

Religion. Caught my Beady Eye. Not Supersonic. Er, sorry, I know I can be obscure.


I can be pissed. I mean in an non US way. Which means a "bit worse for wear". Shure aren't we all? No? Ys. Arse!

Sorry. Just reliving Father Ted. If onlly they were still makeing it. God bless em. And god rest Dermot. Saint amongst men. In my hubmle. Er, where is my tyop stoppper. Girls!

News: Rooney apologied. Add s' where necessary. Sumbohdie had a word. Spudhead. And genius. You footboll geezers know. Don'tya? Yes. Aye R.

Oz. Oh yes. Maybe not. Germans? Nah. Argen fckin Tina. Now. Spain. Feck, Slovenia? Oh shite. Aye. Nuff said.

Back to the plot. This is bound to attract attention. Wiv dat title.

For each their own. Notsometing I'da done. Still, who am I to say?

Er, Flicked thru.Tonk sums it up well. As per.

Ajr is up to his usual stuff. God bless him. And he is right too. As opposed to wrong, not left. Ahem,

WB. AP. Rings bells. Keep it up. I'm sur you will.

R ox


Latest scripts...

The Sandwich

Take Care

Blood Group


My other scripts are here.

Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 3 - 11
mcornetto
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



I don't know about this.  I didn't really find it humorous - though of course that could just be me.  Maybe if there was more to it than just a commercial or maybe if the commercial were even more outrageous.  I think the whole concept of the bomber-car dealership is what didn't work for me - I didn't find it believable.  It needed to have a reason for existing and I don't think it does.  
Logged
e-mail Reply: 4 - 11
Coding Herman
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 9:12pm Report to Moderator
Purple



Location
Toronto, Canada
Posts
496
Posts Per Day
0.26
Hi Will,

A 2-pager, it'll give you a lot of reads. Obviously you're going with a comedic skit here. So I can't say much about story, characters, etc. But as what it is now, I think it works. I like the ironic and satire you're going for. I was chuckling for a while, especially the ending.

Could be a funny commercial, albeit a controversial one for the easily offended.

Herman


FEATURE:

Memwipe
- Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 11
albinopenguin
Posted: June 19th, 2010, 10:37pm Report to Moderator
Green


I got dipping sticks.

Location
Philadelphia
Posts
759
Posts Per Day
0.35
hey everyone,

thanks so much for the read. with my busy schedule, i find myself writing sketches more so than stories. id like to write more stories...but i would love to have my own "half hour dark comedy sketch show" someday. so i guess thats why i keep writing sketches instead.

with that being said, i just wanted to write a sketch that people would chuckle about. and it seems as though ive accomplished that.

and good point ajr- the funny thing is, i hate family guy (but love south park). at any rate, it's become really popular to poke fun of islam lately and id be lying if i said i didnt hop on the bandwagon.

thanks everyone for the reads. i really appreciate it.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 11
jayrex
Posted: June 20th, 2010, 5:08pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


I can't see the positives through the negativity

Location
London, UK
Posts
1083
Posts Per Day
0.37
Hello Will,

It's not bad.  But I don't think this will work if filmed.

I would say you need more detail.

What does a Muslim terrorist look like?  Does he have a headscarf, a beard, does he hold a weapon?

What does an American look like?  He's a journalist, so will have a journalist jacket.  But that won't let the viewer know he's American.

Page 2 is actually page one.  Fade out should have a period after it.

All the best,


Javier


Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 7 - 11
jwent6688
Posted: June 20th, 2010, 8:20pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


DOUBLE SPACE YOUR FRIGGIN' SLUGS!!!

Posts
1774
Posts Per Day
0.81
That was funny, quite enjoyed it. Give you the brass balls of the week for writing this. They're calling for Parkers/ Stones head in the muslim world. Some good one liners.

nice work.

james


Logged
Private Message Reply: 8 - 11
dogglebe
Posted: June 20th, 2010, 8:33pm Report to Moderator
Blue


I'm seeing red right now!

Location
on the couch
Posts
8364
Posts Per Day
2.82
This script fell pretty flat to me.  The premise behind it is good, but I actually felt that it dragged.  I looked forward to the ending.


Phil


The Devil's Jokebook  
An ancient relic disappears.  And Heaven and Hell will fight to get it back.


Finalist, Shriekfest Horror Film Festival screenplay competition.
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 9 - 11
TheRichcraft
Posted: June 24th, 2010, 1:44am Report to Moderator
Purple



Posts
250
Posts Per Day
0.15
Could be shown as a minor sub-plot of a movie.  The characters could be watching an SNL or Monty Python kind of TV show.

Tacky, tacky, tacky, but it had a few chuckles here and there.

Now if you can do a sketch in which a man finds out the 72 females waiting for him in the afterlife are still virgins (ugliness, frigidity, underage, etc).
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 11
spencerforhire
Posted: June 27th, 2010, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
Purple


Write NOW! Perfect LATER!

Location
Seattle, WA
Posts
227
Posts Per Day
0.07
I give it two thumbs up, one for each page!

Yes it was controversial... and?

Your goal seemed to be "laughs" and you did get a few of those based upon the reviews above. I did find it overwritten in spots. With a second pass it could be shorter and much more powerful.

Thanks for sharing.


I got nothing.  
Logged
Site Private Message YIM Reply: 11 - 11
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short  [ previous | next ] Switch to:

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006