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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Trail of the Wolf - A Babz WOL script Moderators: bert
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  Author    Trail of the Wolf - A Babz WOL script  (currently 2663 views)
SimplyScripts
Posted: August 30th, 2010, 7:37pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Trail of the Wolf by Ryan Lee (ryan1) - Short, Comedy - An expert werewolf hunter helps the Kent Police after an old lady gets devoured. 6 pages  A WOL script - pdf, format


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Dreamscale
Posted: August 30th, 2010, 8:12pm Report to Moderator
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Another Ryan Lee script!  Damn, dude, you're amazing!

There is some funny shit here for sure.  You did alot with theme, and I think it's successful.

I did see alot of issues within though.  Your SLUGS were not well done, some inconsistencies with them.  I think you'd want to CAP your werewolf's intro on page 5.  Little things like that - probably quickly written, so no big deal.

All in all, some funny dialogue and scenes.

Pretty good!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.

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Dreamscale  -  August 31st, 2010, 10:21am
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_ghostwriter
Posted: August 31st, 2010, 12:45am Report to Moderator
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Ryan,

You're making a name for yourself around here.  Congrats on being the winner of the "Werewolves Of London," challenge.  You have some pretty funny stuff going on in this little puppy.

So my hats off too you.

Ghostwriter


THE TIME GUARDIAN: KING SAUL JUGGERNAUT - scyfy

DAMNED GUNS OF HATTIE MAE RAVENHAWK - western

HOT CANARY ON A COLD WINTER'S NIGHT - suspenseful, erotic thriller

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grademan
Posted: August 31st, 2010, 7:53am Report to Moderator
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Ryan,

Very good! I  liked how you deftly wove in the song snippets into the story. The characters had their own voices which is hard to do in any short. Intriquing story. Fun to read. You have a clever mind.

Gary

BTW, I kept hearing Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" during the scene with Ethel. Weird.
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 31st, 2010, 11:48am Report to Moderator
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Congrats, Ryan on the WOL WIN!

Nicely done, bud.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Coding Herman
Posted: August 31st, 2010, 2:27pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, Ryan.

Another script of yours, another one I loved.

Really well done. You fit the song in nicely. I wouldn't have known this is for the contest if you didn't put it in the title.


Herman


FEATURE:

Memwipe
- Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
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Ryan1
Posted: August 31st, 2010, 3:44pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the looks, guys.  This was a quick one.  I wrote this in a couple hours and submitted it to Babz the day after the challenge was announced.  Didn't actually think it would win.  Interesting little challenge having to weave those lyrics in there.

Thanks again to Babz.

Ryan
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jwent6688
Posted: September 1st, 2010, 6:00pm Report to Moderator
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Good job winning Ryan. I gotta admit, I couldn't come up with anything to even remotely entertain this theme for days. Just gave up.

The fantastical story you've created here using the lyrics is good fun. I liked it. Ethel and the purina wolf chow as bait, awesome.

Good work

James


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Ryan1
Posted: September 2nd, 2010, 9:51pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks, James.  

Just felt the song lent itself more to an over the top comedy than a dark drama.  

Gary,

You kept hearing Hungry like the Wolf in that Ethel scene?  Damm, that is weird.  
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: October 1st, 2010, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
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Hello Ryan,

Thanks for the upload, its an enjoyable read.
Comedy is a great vehicle for material that needs to be referential and jump around.
You picked up on that and concocted a furry romp!
Good on you.

I listened to Babz's podcast so I thought I would head over here.
So, what were your thoughts on the Pitchfest? Sounds interesting.

One question about the ending, were there any song references on the last page?
Thanks again for the nifty read! Look forward to more!

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

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is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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Ryan1
Posted: October 1st, 2010, 6:45pm Report to Moderator
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Dreamer,

Yeah, given how strange the lyrics are, I felt comedy was the only way to go with this one.  On the last page, there were no lyrics, I just had to wrap the story up.  Pitchfests sound like a great idea to me.  I couldn't make the latest one, so maybe next time.

Ryan
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