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I was inspired from a moment back in June/July, (can't remember & can't check using this mobile), between Phil & Michael. And remembering what Michael did when he first started here I thought it would be humorous. Couldn't find any of his scripts so couldn't use any past material.
The ending I'm not sure about as I've changed that about a few times.
I wanted to throw in a few more cameos but felt it worked as it is.
Thanks for the upload, its a pretty fluid read. I'm new here, so I don't get all the in-jokes. That being said, I still chuckled here and there. Your action description is a little chunky at time, "lightning filling the room." I was like, "Whoa, really?" Then I figured you meant it was the light from the bolts. The dialogue feels natural and I was never bored, good work!
I generally don't read Simply Scripts as I was never happy with how the people/characters are portrayed. I don't think the writer knows the others enough to capture them on paper. With the Summer 2010 Clusterfuck, I think there was enough fodder.
I was cute, and I chuckled more than once or twice.
MICHAEL Yeah, like I'll ever write a bestseller.
PHIL You sure won't.
Funny. And eerily prophetic.
About the only thing missing was the mention of talking head machinimas.
Cheers for the read Michael, and I'm happy that you'll get over it when I crossed the line.
I've written like four/five scripts on religious topics and they're not very positive. So if you thought the comment of Jesus was bad, you should stay away from my scripts. I've done far worse on Jesus in four scripts, and God like once, and other characters.
On a side note, if people are always finding God, how come he goes missing all the time?
Oh, and I'll change that can to a bottle if that's you're preferred drink Phil, or should I use a pint glass?
Since we're here to discuss this script, I figured I'd give it a read. Especially because it's about Michael - which could have been me - but wasn't - Whew!
The basic concept here is pretty well done. I can relate with it. Do you remember my Machinima from a while back about the same sort of thing?
Anyway, shameless plugs aside, I thought you handled things well. It wasn't so insulting that those involved would take exception, though I think Phil might not like being associated with angels. Dunno.
I got a laugh at the booger line though.
Otherwise, you had lots of typos. Definitely work on that. I know it's hard to do but it's necessary in something this short. And I wasn't sure I really understood the ending. Was Phil working with Jeff to make people turn their back on screenwriting? If so, HA!
LOL, I did had quite a few laughs reading this. It was a zippy read, too.
Too bad I just checked this out later than everyone else. Wanna see how Phil, Jeff, and Michael respond to this.
Okay, not bad, could be better.
Memwipe - Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.