SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 19th, 2024, 2:09am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Sarco Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 3 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Sarco  (currently 1350 views)
Don
Posted: October 29th, 2010, 9:23pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16369
Posts Per Day
1.94
Sarco by George Galanakis - Horror - On the way to their honeymoon in Mexico, a newlywed couple checks into an isolated motel. Nothing is what it seems, as the motel proves to be a death trap set by a family of cannibals, who capture unsuspecting travelers to satisfy their man-eating needs.  90 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
Baltis.
Posted: October 29th, 2010, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Sounds just like Motel Hell... I mean, literally and to a T too.  I'll check it out and report back here my findings.  Not in another post as to not clutter up the thread but right here, Jackson.  Look out for it.  

Edit:

So I'm back and... What you got here is what I feared.  A Motel Hell rip off, but... A pretty damn good one.  Actually, a little better than it is in reality, to be honest.  It's Motel Hell without the stupid cultivating humans for food through tubes junk.  But, with that said, it's rough around the edges.  You're dialog is a little stiff at times and your formating, while easy to read, isn't exactly brimming with creativity.  And that can be a good thing because it reads straight forward.  It reads how it plays out but there is a tad more to screenwriting than that at times.  You don't utilize all of your talents to really sell us on any given scene.  You don't pull the reader in fully.

I walked away from this script with liking it for what it is but cussing its short comings too.  I do feel you spent too much time trying to replicate and not innovate.  Your would be hero seems to be plucked out of The Hills Have eyes and just about every other horror movie, but that, again, isn't necessarily a bad thing rather than just "A" thing.  I also tend to believe you watched a lot of Vacancy 1 and 2 before sitting down to write it.

But, to be honest, this really could be the remake of Motel Hell if someone wanted to take the initiative.  It's very similar, but it's also very new and cutting edge.  I'd tighten the dialog chains up and wrangle in your dry action delivery and see where it takes ya.  Some of your dialog is unnecessary and stiff.  It reads like a bad Edie Haskel impression.  But... It's one of the better horror scripts floating around here as of late and I'd recommended it to anyone who's a fan of the genre... on the soul purpose that it gets a few key elements right.  Of course it gets alot of things wrong along the way too, though.

Catch 22.

Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Baltis.  -  October 30th, 2010, 12:48pm
Logged
e-mail Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Horror Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006