I definitely liked Star Kids.
Instead of The side of the ship has a name across it. It is called the "Destiny". Maybe
On the side of the ship "DESTINY" is spelled across it. Or The Name "DESTINY" is spelled out on the side of the ship.
There are a couple of things that can be modified like instead of saying
The doors split into two and slide apart as he exits the control room cockpit.
You can say The doors slide open or slide apart. Or the doors to the infirmary slide apart. etc.
He turns his head, trying to gather his senses of where he is. (The other part is internal) Maybe say the child looks confused.
I like the Captain and the kids. It didn't start off well for them, but I like how the captain and Abeona realize how much they want them around. I would love to see this series become reality.