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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Batman: In Cold Blood Moderators: bert
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  Author    Batman: In Cold Blood  (currently 1878 views)
Don
Posted: March 12th, 2011, 6:32pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Batman: In Cold Blood by Jedd Jong - Action, Adventure - After witnessing the death of his parents during a circus performance, Bruce Wayne adopts the young aerialist Dick Grayson. Criminal boss Oswald Cobblepot appears to be the mastermind of the murders, and has on his leash scientist Victor Fries, now in heavy debt after borrowing from him to develop a cure for his wife's terminal disease. As Batman investigates, he begins to train Dick as his protege and crime-fighting partner, Robin.  104 pages - doc, format


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Eoin
Posted: March 13th, 2011, 9:14am Report to Moderator
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just another ego maniac with low self esteem

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'This screenplay in itself is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.'

You got to be kidding, right? Seriously . . .
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DarrenJamesSeeley
Posted: March 13th, 2011, 11:39am Report to Moderator
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Every now and then, I will peek at a fanscript, just in case someone actually nails it. What I mean by that is I generally look at the first few pages and ask myself the following criteria:

1) Since the person (or persons) cannot possibly get this made, I will still judge it by format. If the writer(s) have enough juice to write this, they have the drive to write other scripts not based on pre-existing characters. Thus, basic (spec) screenwriting format still applies. If they foul up here, they will make the same errors there. Treat it like an exercise.

2) How is the adaptation? Do the character(s) act or speak out of character?

When I read that Alfred was Bruce's "valet" on p.10, that was my excuse to stop reading. WE may know from comics lore that Alfred is Wayne's trusted friend and butler. We may be aware that Oswald Cobblepot is nicknamed The Penguin. But you are also telling us these things (and in the case of Alfred, wrong)--and there's lots of wordy stuff that commands blocks of text.

But it is the off alignment and constant spacing issues with character slugs and head slugs that make it tough on the eyes.

'Nuff said.


"I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec." - Mo Fuzz, Tapeheads, 1988
my scripts on ss : http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1095531482/s-45/#num48
The Art!http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1190561532/s-105/#num106
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