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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  The Dark: One for the Road Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    The Dark: One for the Road  (currently 4468 views)
mcornetto
Posted: April 1st, 2011, 8:54pm Report to Moderator
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The Dark: One For The Road

A group of people in an isolated Nebraska diner encounter a stranger with a horrifying secret.

Written by: Cameron Mitchell
Produced and Directed by:  Michael Cornetto
Voices:  Jorge Campos, Mardi Cook,  Tera Whitten,  Mefune Akira,  Mike Shelton
Additional video and music: Beverly Hillbillies Ep 6 (public domain)

Don't forget to Like The Dark:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dark/137592462958475

View the script here:
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/onefortheroad.pdf

Revision History (1 edits)
mcornetto  -  April 3rd, 2011, 7:31pm
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_ghostwriter
Posted: April 1st, 2011, 9:11pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, I remember reading this one from Cam... I also remember it being my favorite of the bunch.  I've been waiting to see it.   Your choice in music was interesting.  Anyway, you did a very good job with this MC.   Hats off to all involved.


Ghostie


THE TIME GUARDIAN: DARK FRONTIER - scyfy

GHOSTS OF APPALOOSA - western

RISE OF THE AMAZONS - action, fantasy & adventure

HEATWAVE - faith-based erotic thriller

THE SLEEPING TIGER - psychological thriller
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: April 1st, 2011, 9:13pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Perfect end line coming from Mike.

So does that burger, ah, come with fries?

Satan should have stuck around!  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: April 1st, 2011, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks you two.  Don't forget to pass the link for this around and help it get more views.  Cheers.
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: April 2nd, 2011, 11:17am Report to Moderator
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Mike,

It's a pleasure to watch each one of these as your skill level grows.
Narrative tug, shot composition and sound are all improved here.
I liked the hand held quality, not overdone, used to good effect.

One question: What's with Satan's mood ring wardrobe?

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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mcornetto
Posted: April 2nd, 2011, 3:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Electric Dreamer

One question: What's with Satan's mood ring wardrobe?


I wanted to give him a mystical quality - actually his whole looks change throughout.  
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jwent6688
Posted: April 2nd, 2011, 3:50pm Report to Moderator
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This had a different tone to it then I expected. Roach knocking out the camera guy, Satan dancing in the road. It didn't seem like you were trying to capture the eeriness the script had from what i read. If that wasn't your goal, I apologize.

On the other hand, after a second view, I like what you've done with it. The use of the static and the different looks of satan, which I'm surprised the diner patrons didn't notice. He was clearly different looking in the street. Anyways, good work.

Is it on machinama's channel yet? alway love those comments. Btw, have you heard from Cam lately??? Has he seen this??

James


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mcornetto
Posted: April 2nd, 2011, 4:11pm Report to Moderator
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I haven't heard a peep out of Cam so I don't know what's up with him.  

Based on the assets I had for this it was never going to work "seriously" so I went for a hand held - lighter approach - tried to give Satan a sort of Bugs Bunny/otherworldly character.   And it wasn't easy to insert that extra cameraman character.  It isn't my favourite episode but I'm good with the results.

This was NOT an easy script to do with Moviestorm.  The number of characters meant that everyone needed to emote almost all the time - which meant lots of set up.  Plus having that many characters and that much set at the same time kept bombing Moviestorm.  Sometimes it took me 12 tries to render a scene and I had to render them a bunch of times.  When The Dark 2 comes around (and it's already in the planning stages - 6 different directors and authors next time) I'm going to make a suggestion of no more than 3 characters in a scene.

This one was not submitted to Machinima.com.  This is because I was not pleased with the anti-aliasing of the graphics (another problem with Moviestorm and large sets).   I just think this would have been inviting trouble with the Machinima.com audience.  And since this is not on Machinima passing the link for this film around to your friends would be really helpful.

Thanks.
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grademan
Posted: April 3rd, 2011, 6:20pm Report to Moderator
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MC -

Thanks for answering Jamesí questions, I had the same questions! I wish Cam was around, I liked his writing. Thanks for doing this episode, the voicing for Satan was best. I also liked the Beverly Hillbillies episode in the bg. Yeah, the anti aliasing problems are noticeable. Tell us more about round 2 when you can.

Gary
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 4th, 2011, 9:01pm Report to Moderator
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Hey guys, you're not going to like this, but I didn't like this one at all.

I remember the script very clearly and it was easily the best of the bunch and really, REALLY worked.  This didn't work for me...at all.

It had a an odd vibe to it.  It felt slow. It didn't have the same realness to it that came through in Cam's writing.  I didn't like the static stuff at all, and IMO, the voice work was not good overall.  Also didn't like the music at all.

It came off as some kind of comedy almost to me.  There was no horror, no tension, no terror.  Satan looked comical, and I don't think he should have.

I'm sorry to say this and keep in mind, it's just my opinion.  I was very excited when i saw this was finally completed.  I decided to wait before I posted my comments, but felt like I needed to say what i thought.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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mcornetto
Posted: April 4th, 2011, 9:53pm Report to Moderator
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Sorry you didn't like it Jeff but as I stated above I did the best with the assets I had.  Though this script might have been the best liked script, it apparently wasn't the best script for a Moviestorm made video.   Maybe live action would have made it work better.
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 4th, 2011, 10:02pm Report to Moderator
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I hear you, Cornie, and I mean no disrespect in any way.  You're probably completely right.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.

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Dreamscale  -  April 5th, 2011, 10:44am
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dogglebe
Posted: April 4th, 2011, 10:42pm Report to Moderator
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I agree with Jeff.  I didn't like the story/dialog/characters.  Credit to Cornetto for his animation.  This one had a lot of characters to play with.


Phil
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bert
Posted: April 5th, 2011, 8:00am Report to Moderator
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I think the static might have been overused, but maybe that is just because it was REALLY loud on my laptop when it popped up.  Less is more with that technique -- for me anyway.

But I liked the characters and the acting -- while you probably put that cornball music in afterward, I thought it really complimented the dialogue and delivery of the voices.

I am not sure the newscast was necessary.  I think that detail could have been snipped from the script and it still would have played out fine with some minor tweaks.  It kind of telegraphs the end -- it might have been better to have the sirens just fade in later without that newscast as a precursor.

The composition looked great to me, Corney.  I guess I am easily impressed with all this stuff, but I really like how you piece these things together.

I just wish they would perfect the teeth for their characters.  That always creeps me out.


Quoted from mcornetto
I was not pleased with the anti-aliasing of the graphics (another problem with Moviestorm and large sets).


What does this even mean?  It bugs me a little that Gary is, like, "Oh, yeah, that is very noticable" -- while I do not even understand what you are talking about...


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: April 5th, 2011, 9:35am Report to Moderator
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spatial_anti-aliasing


Look at the walls when the camera moves, you see a pattern.
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