To Hell and Back by Barry Hendrickson - Short, Drama, Thriller - Courage and perseverance will be tested for a young woman when she wakes up in a meat factory freezer and is violently confronted by a figure from her past. 12 pages - pdf, format

Pretty intense.

I have to admit that I was a little let down at the end though.

I mean all the torture she endured, I would have liked to seen her get him good. Maybe chop off one of his fingers with his own knife or something more before she killed him. Everything just came to an end too quick.

You could tighten up the dialogue some more, and there are a lot of sentences that you started with lower case letters...

Like I said at the beginning, pretty intense as the story goes. Kept me on the edge of my seat.  


Cindy

Im going to have to agree with Cindy. The dialogue could have been trimmed a bit, and you had some grammatical errors, but I liked it. Only problem for me was the ending, I was hoping she would have been able to turn the table in a more elaborate way. The whole knife thing seemed kind of "meh". I mean it could happen, but this guy planned this, and then he makes a bone-headed mistake like that? Possible, I guess. Overall, it was entertaining for a short horror story.

Thought the premis was very good for a short - very easy to film due to the (mainly) single location.

Problem with single location ideas, is that your dialogue has to be good - strong, even. Wherever you take away (location) you have to give elsewhere (dialogue).

I don't think that the dialogue here is strong enough to sustain a good story; I felt that it lacked imagination, and lacked a 'gritty realistic' feel.

If you think back to 'Saw' (where the guys are in the basement) there is a lot of dialogue, but embedded within that dialogue is a subtle struggle for dominance between the two parties, and this is carried out at great risk. I didn't see that subtle game-playing in you dialogue - to much of it was of the on-the-nose variation.