Kidnapped by Boaz Asaasira - Action, Crime, Thriller - Kidnapped is a character driven action crime thriller about RICHARD a man with a perfect family, beautiful wife, two adorable kids and perfect job, nothing could go wrong until his kids have been kidnapped for ransom by ruthless killers, It’s a nick of time for Richard to pay them as he hides his own secrets from the police.  76 pages - pdf, format

Seems like you've got a real niche market here with the story (and characters) all set in Uganda. I liked the premise and skimmed the first few pages. The story sounds a lot like Ransom, with Mel Gibson, but with a few extra twists and radically different locale. Not a bad thing at all.

Watch the 'ing' words and try to write in present tense. Instead of 'wearing a black suit' say in a black suit, 'suited in black' or he wears a black suit.

A few grammar mistakes throughout but nothing that really effected me. Alex's name should be in all caps at the bottom of page one. Shouldn't the boy have his own dialogue at the top of page three?

I know I only glanced at a few pages but 76 pages seems a bit short. I'm pretty sure the industry standard is about 90 pages at a scripts shortest. Grats on finishing a script, give some other scripts on here a read and you're likely to get more feedback!

Really, Alpha? A few grammar mistakes? The whole script is a nightmare grammatically. And the formatting... don't even get me started. First of all, why are the children yelling "Dad!" in the description line instead of the dialogue line? Secondly, why does he give his wife a "Hag" when he comes home from the airport? What could his wife possibly want with a "Hag"? Are they having a threesome with this "Hag"? Because if not, she has no reason being in the scene.

I feel like the writer watched the movie "Taken" and decided that if he rewrote the script and changed the title to "Kidnapped" nobody would notice. And "Kidnapped" is the wrong title anyway. It should be called "Exposition", because that's all the script is.

To be completely honest, I didn't read the entire thing. After Page 20 I decided that the whole thing must be either a horrible joke or a trojan worm virus. And if it's either of those things, congratulations, it worked beautifully. But if you're being serious, please consider alternative forms of creative expression.

Yep, have to agree with TheTimmyHendrricksExperience (funny name, BTW) - this thing is a frickin' mess!  The writing is God Awful throughout.  Many dialogue lines end with no punctuation and don't even start with a capital letter.  The grammar and sentence structure is some of the worst I've ever seen, to the point of being humorous.  Spelling is also atrocious - check out these 2 dandies - "welcome" spelled as "well come".  "tiresome" spelled as "tire some".

I'm sorry, but this is hopefully written by someone in which English isn't their first language, cause it's a real mess.

I didn't get past Page 5, but based on the Logline (which is also horrifically written), I'm pretty sure I've already seen this movie a few times.

Sorry for being harsh.