Unexpectedly Sam! by Joshua King - Short, Drama, Musical, Comedy - Sam Cohen is young, gay and the new senator for California. Then he has an unexpected encounter with Jesus and begins falling in love with Him. Sam must face the mountains of human opinion, religious fanatics, paparazzi sharks and gay skeptics in this anything goes comic, musical drama. 30 pages - pdf, format

Hey Joshua... That Black, Red and Blue thing really makes for a colorful script but I don't think that's what a potential producer is looking for when he reads it. Formatting really goes a long way when someone reads your script and I don't think this script is formatted properly.
I doubt anyone reviewing this script got past the first couple of pages. At least I didn't. It's obvious you put an effort into it but I'm afraid it missed the mark, IMO.
Read other scripts in here. Get a screenwriting book. With knowledge and desire, you will improve. Good luck.

Write on,

Peter

Hi there - I have to echo the above comments (with the variation that I know it's not formatted properly).

Formatting really is an important part of screen-writing, and you have to look into doing it properly.

I also had some concerns about the dialogue - you could do worse than to Google how to write better dialogue.

Also, the script is not a short. I did a quick experiment, correctly formatted one page, and the script went to 39 pages: It's 15,000 words long - that's more like a 100-120 page script when correctly formatted.

I think that if you are serious about this, you should take some key ideas from it and do a short, and then re-post.

Best o' luck.