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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Slender Man Moderators: bert
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  Author    Slender Man  (currently 5239 views)
Don
Posted: September 10th, 2011, 6:28pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Slender Man by Curtis James Coffey - Horror - A little boy named Joey is terrorized by a sentient being known by children as Slender Man, who may be responsible for countless missing and murdered kids. Determined to help his younger brother but unable to believe him, Sean digs deeper into the myth of Slender Man, discovering the horrifying truth and a town's dark secret. 94 pages - pdf, format


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B.C.
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 3:57pm Report to Moderator
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Curtis, are you active on the boards?

If you show up and are a contributing member I'll give it a whirl and give you some feedback.

I've glanced at the first 2 pages. A question sprang to mind instantly:

Have you seen the movie "Phantasm"?
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bert
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 4:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from B.C.
Have you seen the movie "Phantasm"?


Maybe, maybe not.

Pretty sure he has seen "Marble Hornets", though.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 4:04pm Report to Moderator
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Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

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Curtis,

Welcome to the boards.
If you're a contributing reader member, I'll take a peek.
Isn't this premise akin to the SomethingAwful series, "Marble Hornets"?
http://marblehornets.wikidot.com/

E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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B.C.
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 4:17pm Report to Moderator
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I've no idea what Marble Hornets is. Maybe Angus Scrimm 'inspired' that as well? Any shiny spheres in hornets?

Should I get out more?
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dogglebe
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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Curtis posted a script last year without contributing to the board.  The only post in the thread commented how this script sounded like another movie.


Phil
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Lon
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
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Definitely has a Phantasm/A Nightmare on Elm Street vibe in that opening bit.  Still, decently (if not expertly)written.  I'd spend more time with it if I knew the author was around and/or contributing feedback of his own to others.

Ah, well...
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Alpha85
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 6:23pm Report to Moderator
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Here's a link to the wikipedia page on the Slender Man if anyone's interested:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cougar_Draven/Slender_Man

Is it strange that I was just reading about this thing a few weeks ago?

The author may want to get in touch with the creator for use of this creature. I remember this internet phenomenon from awhile back too, and that marble hornet website(s).

From what I understand they tried to get a web series going and claimed their footage/photos were real. Didn't work out. Cool pictures though.
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Dreamscale
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 10:07pm Report to Moderator
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So, are you guys saying this script is a ripoff, or what?

Revision History (1 edits)
Dreamscale  -  September 13th, 2011, 10:32am
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Zombie Sean
Posted: September 12th, 2011, 10:24pm Report to Moderator
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It's not a rip-off, it seems more like a fan-fic. I'm a big fan of the Marble Hornet series, and the Slender Man used to scare the shit out of me when I first watched the series. I read the first five or so pages of this, skimmed through it, and read through the ending, and I wasn't very impressed. It read more like a Goosebumps version of Slender Man, which, just like Goosebumps, in the eyes of a 10-year-old back in the 1990s would this be scary, but in 2011, it is not.

The thing that the author here did wrong with the script, IMO, is that he showed the Slender Man on the first page. He described as much detail as he could for the "thing" and that was that, telling us that it was supposed to be "creepy". Well, what's wrong about that, you say? What made Marble Hornets scary is that the Slender Man couldn't be seen, unless you looked real closely, and if you did spot him in an entry, then it would be a bit shocking. I don't know about anyone else, but spotting him without realizing it at first scared the crap out of me.

That's what this author needs to do. With the Slender Man, less is definitely more when it comes to showing him. And the ending was just ridiculous.

If this was made for younger audiences (aka, 12 years or younger), then this would be passable, I suppose.

Sean


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Dreamscale
Posted: September 13th, 2011, 10:01am Report to Moderator
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If it's fan-fic, based on an already established premise, shouldn't it say so in the logline?

I've never heard of this Slender man or Marble Hornet thing.  I thought this was an original screenplay...if that's not the case, I think it needs to say so right up front.
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bert
Posted: September 13th, 2011, 10:30am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
If it's fan-fic, based on an already established premise, shouldn't it say so in the logline?

I've never heard of this Slender man or Marble Hornet thing.  I thought this was an original screenplay...if that's not the case, I think it needs to say so right up front.


It's just an urban legend internet kind of thing.  I am not sure he "belongs" to anybody, and to call it a rip-off is too harsh.

It would be akin to saying the author of a "Bloody Mary" screenplay needs to acknowledge that they did not invent the idea of Bloody Mary.

Actually, the whole Slender Man idea is pretty cool -- look it up if you haven't -- and a really good screenplay involving this character would probably attract a little attention.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: September 13th, 2011, 11:21am Report to Moderator
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This seems an appropriate time to ask...

... How do you know if someone is active ( other than rememeber their name)? Is there a function to check this? Like you all I want to help those who help others.

Cheers. RD


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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ajr
Posted: September 13th, 2011, 11:29am Report to Moderator
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I just googled this mythical creature and the lore is fascinating. I would think that a non-comedic mockumentary, chock full of dummied up photos and video sightings, would be more terrifying than a full on horror film...

It would take a very talented writer / filmmaker to pull that off though...

Rick?

(0:


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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dogglebe
Posted: September 13th, 2011, 11:30am Report to Moderator
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You search for the author's name with the SS search engine to see if he posted other scripts earlier.  If so, read through that script's discussion board to see if the author replied to any posts there.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who post scripts without becoming active members of the boards.


Phil
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