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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Radio and Stage Plays  ›  The Lost Treasure Map
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Posted: September 15th, 2011, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Lost Treasure Map by Jordan C. (JJworldwide1216) - Comedy, Play - "The Lost Treasure Map" is a delightful comedy in which thriving pirates are going to mutiny against their captain until a rambunctious group of castaways get standed on the island as well. The map comes between everyone when Dakota and Alexis are captured by the pirates. Will the other castaways be able to save Dakota in time, or will the scurvy pirates get to Capain Abbey first? Lessons are learned, secrets come out, and love prevails in this tale that is sure to rouse a crowd!  58 pages - doc, format


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SLM
Posted: October 2nd, 2011, 1:34am Report to Moderator
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Found this far too overwritten and busy on the page, making it a hard read. You even overwrite the directions for cast and costume! Some of it was like being hit over the head with a hammer, it was so blunt.

It was also rather wearing to read this kind of pastiche at such length. A short comedy, a one acter, yes, but this just seems to go on forever.

Also, I'd just like to say that, if you are seriously aiming for the stage, starting your script with a statement that it is a screenplay is not a good idea!!!

Sorry can't be more positive.
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