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Fumble and Fleece (currently 1939 views)
Don
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 5:53am
Administrator Administrator
So, what are you writing?
Location Virginia
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Fumble and Fleece by Reeleeteer Navorski - Short, Alternative - Do you hear it? 1 page - pdf, format
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dogglebe
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 9:17am
Guest User
As I have no idea what I just read, I can't comment too much on it. Your margins are off and your cover sheet shouldn't have any fancy fonts or color. This thing reads like it was written by a stoner or something.
Revision History (1 edits)
dogglebe - December 2nd, 2011, 2:17pm
Reply: 1 - 16
CoopBazinga
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 9:49am
Old Timer
Location Perth, Australia
Posts 1175
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?? I have no idea what this is about. Sorry.
Reply: 2 - 16
Dreamscale
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 10:24am
Guest User
Reply: 3 - 16
Miguel
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 10:28am
New
When life gives you apples, make apple juice!
I like the title page! Creative.
Reply: 4 - 16
dogglebe
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 10:39am
Guest User
Title pages shouldn't be fancy, Miguel. They should be bare bones: title, author's name and contact information.
Reply: 5 - 16
Conz
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 10:59am
January Project Group
Posts 349
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all i can say is... you have a very interesting name.
I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink. "Career" Highlights @vc_wg - because I crave attention
Reply: 6 - 16
Electric Dreamer
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 11:27am
Old Timer
Taking a long vacation from the holidays.
Location Los Angeles
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Reeleeteer,
Reply: 7 - 16
bert
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 11:41am
Administrator Buy the ticket, take the ride
Location That's me in the corner
Posts 4233
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Oh, for Pete's sake.
Hey, it's my tiny, little
IMDb!
Reply: 8 - 16
dogglebe
Posted: December 1st, 2011, 1:06pm
Guest User
Oh, for Pete's sake.
I think Bert wins the best critique award for this one.
Unless the author chimes in and, maybe, explains himself, we should stop commenting on this script and turn our attention elsewhere.
Phil
Reply: 9 - 16
courhaw
Posted: January 10th, 2012, 5:50pm
Posts 56
Posts Per Day 0.01
reeleeter navorski -- i love this -- i get it and i understand it -- it's kubrick-esque -- it's avant garde, auteuristic -- fellini -- but the end message -- protect for prosperity is very solid. the orange filed -- the distorted thoughts wrought by the oddly dressed and wildly made-up character are quite provocative -- great
Reply: 10 - 16
Pale Yellow
Posted: January 10th, 2012, 6:01pm
January Project Group
Posts 2083
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I want some of those drugs
I had to pull out the raybans to read this!
Reply: 11 - 16
Leon
Posted: January 10th, 2012, 6:06pm
New
Location London, UK
Posts 58
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lol, funny, creative even ... but I fear, meaningless.
Reply: 12 - 16
nawazm11
Posted: January 10th, 2012, 9:44pm
Been Around
Posts 945
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Hahahahahha.
Wtf!
"We have no peppercorn. There�s no peppercorn. Peppercorn on the hermaphrodite�s monitor."
Damn! No peppercorn. We always forget the peppercorn!
I actually understood none of this except that the protagonist is a transvestite. Maybe next time, mate.
Mohammad
Revision History (1 edits)
Reply: 13 - 16
ArtyDoubleYou
Posted: January 10th, 2012, 11:07pm
New
Onen Hag Oll
Location Newquay, Cornwall, England
Posts 219
Posts Per Day 0.05
Had to take a look at this because of the reviews.
Reply: 14 - 16
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