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Woof. You're going to get slaughtered here because of your sloppy presentation. Submitting a screenplay with this many glaring, elementary errors is like going on a job interview in pajamas. Who would take you seriously?
You do know that you're supposed to capitalize the first letter in a sentence, right?
Let's go back to 1st grade, shall we? MAX okay, i understand. Okay, I understand.
SARAH okay. goodbye max. Okay. Goodbye Max.
SO many grammatical errors I'm embarrassed for you.
"FADE OUT" means your movie is over. You ended your movie at least 7 times and then added an alternate ending.
CAP character's names when first introduced. This is screenwriting 101. This would be learned by reading just one properly formatted short.
How in the world is this dialog?: MAX ...
As for the story, I didn't get it. Some sort of bizarre love triangle...I think.
Read some screenplays. Give us a story with characters we can connect with. If there is a love triangle, show us more than the end where they're so pissed they want to kill on another. What got them to this point? And for God's sake, take pride in your work.
Absolutely horrendous in every way conceivable. If only this was a pisser, it would be the new gold standard.
Love the part about Max laying in some field and stabbing an un-introduced character in the leg then the chest. Damn, that's some amazing shit there.
Dude, c'mon now. You just can't be serious, can you? Have you ever read a screenplay before? I sure hope you've never written one before. Just unGodly...seriously...I'm almost speechless, but then again, we know that's not ever going to really happen.
Hey, listen, you did come to the right place. Read some scripts. Get a clue of how to write a script. Don't get upset or give up, but you've got to put forth some effort. You know?
Best of luck, bro...looks like you're gonna need it.
This has to be the funniest comedy I have ever read . Hopefully it was a comedy because you didn't put anything for the genre. Tut Tut Tut...
I'm pretty sure this was just taking the piss but I apologize if it wasn't. I didn't really mind the spelling mistakes but this looked as if it was written on the bus to preschool.
I think the biggest problem you faced here was the random action taking place. Max runs out of his house, into a field where he stabs a dude in the leg??? Wtf???
From the story, all I got was this guy named Max was some kind of assassin but left the trade for his girlfriend to be safe but the Boss got angry and kidnapped her just so he could kill Max for leaving in the first place?
Not sounding good to me, mate. Sorry if I came off as harsh, read some scripts on here and please check your grammer/spelling next time.
MasterSight Films new script! the city of dead it's a horror comedy so if you like zombies and comedy you'll love this film Like · Comment · 21 December 2011 at 21:24 via Mobile ·
RECENT ACTIVITY MasterSight Films changed their About.MasterSight Films edited their Website and Description.MasterSight Films Hello everybodyyy, just finished ALL the pre-production for the new short film Saving Sarah. its going to be SUPER awesome! cant wait to show you guys..! Like · Comment · 15 December 2011 at 17:57 · MasterSight Films hello everybody, I am currently working on a script for our new ACTION short film titled, Saving Sarah. its definitely going to cool!
INT. BASEMENT Tucker is tying up Sarah to the chair. TUCKER Do you know why your here? SARAH Who are you? Where am I? TUCKER Well, my name is Tucker. And your here, well because, Max. He left us, for you. And that’s just not going to work. SARAH Yes he did,
new gold standard indeed. I'm warming to it. Let it be a lesson to every aspiring scriptwriter.
Do you need a script?? Well your in luck, I Personally (Paul Hewitt) will write a script at a SUPER low cost, and possibly even free, you will just need to work out the details with me. I will write any genre.
Base Cost Super Shorts (3-10 min.) $10-15 -This includes short films and skits. Shorts (10-20 min.) $20-30 -This Includes short films, short sitcoms, skits, and short plays. Medium (20-45 min) $35-50 -Films, sitcoms, and plays. Feature (45+) $50-100 -Movies, Plays. NOT ALL PRICES ARE SET IN STONE. CONTACT ME FOR MORE DETAILS
Zzzz, I feel bad now. Alright, mate. If you're reading this, the comment I wrote above was for a quick laugh so I'm sorry if I came off dicky.
Thanks Simon for sharing the links to show this guy is genuinely interested in writing.
I am also pretty new to this Paul but if you're around here I can do a proper review and try and help you all I can. Just pm me and I will do so. See you around
I Personally (Paul Hewitt) will write a script at a SUPER low cost, and possibly even free, you will just need to work out the details with me. I will write any genre.
Base Cost Super Shorts (3-10 min.) $10-15 -This includes short films and skits. Shorts (10-20 min.) $20-30 -This Includes short films, short sitcoms, skits, and short plays. Medium (20-45 min) $35-50 -Films, sitcoms, and plays. Feature (45+) $50-100 -Movies, Plays.
Realising the script you just paid for is full of spelling mistakes. Priceless. For everything else there's MasterCard
Poor Paul. Just another overenthusiastic newbie who hasn't realized that he has years of work to do before he writes something decent. I think most people drop out when they see how much work is involved. Hopefully Paul will stick it out. He can learn tons by participating here.
Just followed his link and saw they they are selling "MasterFilms" apparel. Whoa. Too much time promoting, not enough time practicing. Recipe for disaster.
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