The Red Dress by Fechete Paul-Cristian (cristianfechete) - Short, Drama - Women create life. Women create dresses. What’s life for a woman? 15 pages - pdf, format

You're formatting is good. It shows you understand the basic technical rules.

I like the cinematic transitions you have. The red light to blood...the white light transitions. They're very cinematic.

The story is easy to follow. I didn't like the ending though. I think the story hits the high point when she gets killed. the last scene took away the thunder from the accident scene, but I think you inserted it as exposition to why he's cheating on her.

If you can somehow move this to the middle of the script and end with the accident, the story would be much stronger.

Good luck with this!

I quite like this script.  It is nicely resolved and the transitions are interesting - and work well for this story.

I would write more specific locations in the slugs (ie first scene "DESIGN STUDIO", second "GARMENT-SHOP FLOOR"- or something clearer to your intended location) - as these are important and only became clear later in the script.  Important features could be articulated in the Action.   Reveals work nicely in a short story, not so much in a script - especially for the guys that have to build/dress it for you.  

I also found David's dialogue (in the last scene) verbose.

Hey Fechete,

The logline isn’t great and didn’t make me want to read this but as there is not an abundance of new material around at the moment, decided to give this a read.

This isn’t bad, a good tale on the whole and I think you can tell a good story. However there are a few issues IMO and I would be happy to elaborate on them if you are around for feedback?

If not then all the best with it.

Steve