Unwanted Collateral by Grace A. Fynn - Short, Comedy - A creditor kidnaps the daughter of his debtor but soon realizes his error. 10 pages - pdf, format

It's continuous not continues.

All caps for first intro of characters and at least one line of description to get us a picture of the main characters.

Action lines/sentences could use more tightening/succinctness.

I stopped on the first paragraph on page 2 because of this:

Clara pours the food into a pot and places it on the
stove. Five minutes later, she serves it into two plates,
giving Anna one.

This is a 10 page script which assumes ten minute short, but if you include that description, you'll have 5 minutes of clara cooking the food. No one wants to see that. Instead of a continuous slug, just cut to the part when the food is ready.

Hi Grace - nice to see you doing some shorts - maybe you'll pop on the boards sometime?

I like the story idea here, but it was tricky getting to it, as the writing wasn't totally suited to a script. It was half-novel half-script.

     BOSS
Come back immediately. We have a
problem.

     CLARA
Yes please.

-- didn't quite make sense.

... Two roles of people numbering twenty
-- Two rows of people(?)

So it's a nice idea - but needs to come across with more visual clarity.

Best of luck.