Hey, Alex. Looks like the title is fixed.
Not sure why the scenes are numbered.
Page 1: "A homeless man Scott" How do we know he's homeless? Cut it IMO.
Not sure if you know this, but when first introducing a character, you need to caps their name.
The first sentence is really awkwardly phrased, I'd change it.
First you say he was sleeping on rags, but then you say a stained blanket? Stick to one, IMO.
"He composes himself and then walks out of the shed through a tin/timber door that he pushed open to reveal a rear lane way." What??
Not sure what you mean by this sentence, reads very awkwardly.
"As he approached near the end of the lane way" Also, not sure if you already know this, but scripts are written in present tense.
"and he investigates them one by one." Take the 'and' away and start a new sentence, IMO.
Three sentences in a row which start with "As he". Change it up a bit.
No need for the extra Fade Ins, and Fade outs in a short.You only need one Fade In at the start and a one Fade Out at the end.
"exclusive suburb" How do we know this?
Page 3: No need for camera directions, unless you're filming this yourself?
"you can see by his rapid eyes movement that he is thinking about his next move." Ditch that, as it's not possible for the audience to even know he's thinking about "his next move". His eyes moving would be enough.
Seems a bit strange saying that to yourself...
"where the river views are." Guessing that's somewhere in Sydney?
"then back at his house as if he is comparing the two." His house?
I'm really confused at the moment. Which house is which? Which one is he in right now?
Page 5: "You can hear the snoring clearly and he seems very comfortable." Try not to mention us, the reader in the script. We, you, our, us is never needed.
"with a close up of his face showing he is clearly enjoying himself." No camera directions needed. Also, explain what his face looks like if he's enjoying himself.
"He reached" Present tense.
Page 6: "(As he gives a wave)" Need a separate line for a parenthetical. Your screenwriting software should probably have it built in.
Give the streets some more recognizable names. 1, 2 and 3 feel lazy.
"(Viewed from behind not to show his face from here on) " I see what you want to do here but that just doesn't look good in a script. There's gotta be a better way of writing that.
Page 7: "Not taking her eyes of Scott as she is delighted at his presence" How do we know she's delighted?
Page 8: "She is overwhelmed by his good looks obvious wealth and is fidgeting and very nervous" This! You really need to cut it, as it's not needed in any way at all. Also, it's impossible for the audience to even know this if they're watching a filmed version.
"(pause)" For a pause in shorts, we use a (beat), which basically means pause.
Okay, Alex. I'm not going to focus on the story here as I think you need to work on your format more.
Is this your first script? Better be!
Your writing is very novelistic. You try to back up everything you write by putting a reason right after. This is really not needed in screenplays. You only say what's happening on screen. Nothing else is needed. Because of this, you use a lot of unfilmables, which basically means what it sounds like.
Everything you write, just think, Can I actually film this? If I film it, will I know he's homeless? Will I know what he's thinking? Will I know that he's enjoying himself?
You have a lot of unnecessary descriptions. They're really not needed. You overwrite in nearly every sentence, and you can cut down on so much. If you really wanted to, you could make this 5 pages. Let me get you an example. "He opens the door and walks out as he looks down the street at the piles of junk on the verges and then proceeds down the street." Or, "He opens the door, walks down the street." See? I cut more than half the sentence, as everything else isn't needed to tell the story.
You might not want to focus on this point, but really, try not to use "is" or "ing". I saw it a lot in the script, and you didn't even need them. "Scott is standing". How about 'Scott stands"? See, it reads a lot better.
Another thing I noticed was that you didn't break up your sentences properly, mostly because you kept cramming them with too much unnecessary information. It just doesn't read well. "Scott does this and he does this and while he sees this and then this." Easily editable.
You also need to capitalize speaking characters when you introduce them.
If my comments seemed harsh, I apologize, Alex. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me, or any regular on this site really.
Good luck, and keep writing.