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Only God Can Curse In Heaven! by Stephanie Harris - Comedy - Only God Can Curse in Heaven! Jesus and Satan battle, God and Satan battle, but only God can curse in heaven! 90 pages - pdf, format
On the chance that this is your first attempt at screenwriting I'll be gentle as possible. This script needs a lot of fixing. My advice would be to read other scripts on this site (good ones) and a few screenwriting books. Screenwriter's Bible by David Trottier is a good start.
Learn how to "format" a script before you write one. And for the record Jesus and Satan are defnitely not brothers, but that's beside the point. Don't let this criticism discourage you.
You knocked out a ninety page script so that tells me you've got determination. Now you just need education.
The formatting needs a lot of work like Alexander states. You also need to cut down dialog to 3 lines. With the right format, some of these would be 20 lines.
GOD No, your first miracle should be making water into this fine tasting wine. Now, this I agree on. I like that idea. This is some good stuff here. (God takes a sip of wine out of his golden cup and makes a toast) Let me think for a minute. You can’t come flying through the sky. Absolutely no flying! They will think you’re the SATAN. You cannot go in a spaceship. They will worship you and not me. And, if you come already grown and wealthy, they will accuse you of buying your position. Son, the only way I can see you going down there and making them believers, is you would have to be born as a human child.
Also, you do not need to use CAPS in dialog and only use CAPS in slugs when your introducing someone for the first time.
There is little, if nothing else, I can add that hasn't already been suggested. I didn't read much passed the beginning, but I did notice an error I'd like to point out:
JESUS (Smiles at thought) FATHER, think about this. If I go down there as a human, do some unbelievable miracles like; giving the blind site, make the cripple walk, heal the leopards, and feed 5000 with 2 loaves of bread and 3 fish. They will believe in you as I believe in you.
I think you meant heal the lepers.
Good luck in your current and future writing endeavors, Stephanie.
There is little, if nothing else, I can add that hasn't already been suggested. I didn't read much passed the beginning, but I did notice an error I'd like to point out:
JESUS (Smiles at thought) FATHER, think about this. If I go down there as a human, do some unbelievable miracles like; giving the blind site, make the cripple walk, heal the leopards, and feed 5000 with 2 loaves of bread and 3 fish. They will believe in you as I believe in you.
I think you meant heal the lepers.
Good luck in your current and future writing endeavors, Stephanie.