Ormolu Death Clocks by Erica Vogel (AustinWriterEV) - Short, Sci Fi - An 18th century clockmaker's best client is a pawnshop owner from the future who is willing to trade the clockmaker's life for a profit. - pdf, format

Okay I read this one and IMO its well writen for sure.

I will admit that I'm a little lost as to the conclusion. I can't seem to figure out how the clock got back to 18th century France. Its possible that I'm a bit tired and have to re-read this again. I'll get it eventually lol.

Either way solid job with the writing.

Hello Erica.

A few small quibbles: No need to include the logline in your title page, it doesn't belong there.

FADE IN: Should be on the left.

Your opening slug includes the date and place, yet this won't be clear to the audience. Include a, SUPER: France, [year]

This line reads a little awkward:'The only light comes from moonlight streaming through a very small window on one wall.'

Try something like: Moonlight through a small window illuminates the room.

This piece of dialouge doesn't sit right:

HAGGLER
Three thousand, or I walk. I need
gambling money.

Why would a 'Haggler', A. Say that he needs money and show he's desperate, B. Say why he needs it?

The Haggler now haggles himself down to $1500 ? ?

Does Rick speak French or Marc speak English?

Not a bad little story, just needs more clarity on the purpose of the broken clock and link to the pawn shop.