Speaker Pants by Brandon Bushman (Danger Doer) - Short, Comedy - Tired of your life being a constant bore, well it sounds like you need Speaker Pants. All you got to do is slip these bad boys on, plug in your MP3 player and let the music take over. 2 pages - pdf, format

Hey Danger Doer,

I see under your member info you have Zero posts on Simply Scripts.

If you are new, then welcome.

When you turn up I will post notes on Speaker Pants.

Regards Alex

Hey Brandon,

I have just one thing to say...

I want Speaker Pants!!

Or as the older female stated "thank you Speaker Pants"

I guess I'm a moron because I wanted it all to be true...

Spoiler

Unfortunately it turned out to be a fake!

Not sure what you’re going for here? I guess a few laughs from the reader and if so, you succeeded with me. This one won't be to everyone’s taste though.

Good luck to you.

Steve

Felt like I was watching a commercial.

Loved it Laughed Cute

I want a pair of speaker pants!

Hey Brandon, another one from you.

You have slug with three different locations in it.  Is this intended to be a split screen scene?  Just asking.

I actually really liked this.  I could see this in a sketch show.

Could do with a little tidy up but nothing too drastic.

Good job.

Not great, not horrible.
This was a good attempt at a commercial parody comedy sketch.
I went to Second City, and let me tell you, this was a LOT better than most of the sketches I read there.
You got the most important thing IMO, keep it short. Short scenes. Low amount of pages. It keeps it fresh and interesting. People have a surprisingly low attention span when it comes to skits.

Good work!

Hey Brandon,

I don't need speaker pants to help me dance. I already know how to dance. I'm a white male in my thirties. Oh s**t, wait a minute I'll take two pairs. lol

Hey Brandon,

Hope you show up.

Yeah, simple, short etc writing needs a little attention but as alfffy says, easily done.

I suppose what bothered me most was;

1) why have the end announcer? It seemed out of place and wasted a punch line

2) I thought this could lead into some decent opportunities which wernt taken, which is good I suppose in that it shows a nice idea. One that comes to mind is to end on the punch line of, for example, buy two pairs and you get a an upgrade to the scratch and sniff version. Ie throw in another weird gadget. You get the point, milk the opportunity.

Cheers

Typical SNL commercial.  Not bad.  Did almost smile a couple of times.  I guess I'm getting too old or I'm just tired!  I'm with Reef, there were missed opportunities in this.  I liked the "party in your pants" line, but really that saying is for guys and you had it for girls.  Again, I must be getting old when I am picking apart a commercial parody... geez.