Different Kinds Of Dead by Joe Lewis - Thriller - Detective John Grant is obsessed with the Sherry Carr homicide. The only clue he has is a grainy parking lot video of the murder. 100 pages - pdf, format

Hey Joe

First off, you're title page needs your info.  Right now it says Title by Writer basically.

I would suggest keeping things like credits out of spec scripts.  Just stick with the story for now before you get technical with all the editing.

"Just don't fuck with Mr. Carr too much."  A bit impersonal for a judge IMO.

Some of the dialogue is a bit on the nose for me.  "I'm going to prove you had your ex-wife killed..."  Maybe you could reveal their relationship through photographs the detectives find?

Hopefully your on the boards and chime in.  Best of luck.

"You did he best you could.." HE should be THE

GRANT
You had Sherry killed because you
didn’t want her to give birth to a child that would be a half sister to your daughters. Because that child was fathered by another man.

Dont like this dialogue. In this particular scene I think the dialogue between GRANT & CARR would work better if shortened and more snappy. You dont necessarily need to give us all the information at once.

On page 8 "you making a sweater for dear old dad?" Whos saying this?

I didnt know if the "blind" dialogue on page 9 was supposed to be funny or not...either way i liked that it was snappy

you have to FADE TO BLACK or CUT TO BLACK before you can have BLACK SCREEN I believe.

on page 10 you write
EXT. CARR HOME - NIGHT
A dark figure steps from the night. Carr is unaware

This doesnt sound right. I realise you have Carr exiting his humvee two scenes before, maybe you should reword this.

Ive read 10 pages, its decent so far. couple of easy to fix issues.

-Gavin