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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  I Love It When You Call Me Bitch Moderators: bert
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  Author    I Love It When You Call Me Bitch  (currently 835 views)
Don
Posted: April 4th, 2013, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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I Love It When You Call Me Bitch by Pat King - Short, Comedy - Comedy sketch about a man who enjoys being taken down a peg or two by his wife. 5 pages - pdf, format


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CrusaderVoice
Posted: April 4th, 2013, 8:33pm Report to Moderator
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My first thought when reading this was wondering if Max originally hooked up and eventually married Maxine just because her name was Maxine? I mean, what are the odds? Did they have a hard time being creative enough on user names for their email accounts?

If those queries were crazy, the comic sequence in the script was crazier.

I think the progression of painful acts is accurate because an attack from an onery cat really is worse than a shotgun blast to the chest. I did actually think 'what tops getting shot?' and then comes the cat...and I thought that was about right.

I'd pick apart the bit about the robber being so inept but hey, it's a bad economy right now.
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Pale Yellow
Posted: April 4th, 2013, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
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I liked this. I agree with the above ...may tweak the robber a bit.

Good job. Enjoyable read. Poor Max.
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danbotha
Posted: April 5th, 2013, 12:46am Report to Moderator
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Hi Pat,

Sorry, but this one didn't work for me. For me, the comedy just isn't what I prefer and to be honest the story doesn't do much for me. Don't be dismayed. Comedy is selective. Some will like this, others will not. For me, it's just not what I like. However, I can definitely see some potential with this. I know a lot of people who are quite partial to this sort of humor. Keep at it, and you won't be disappointed.

Sorry. Wish I could give more...

Dan


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