Hi Nathan, I read the first few pages. Its not formatted correctly. No need for the scene numbers and every scene should have a proper slug (i.e. EXT. FOREST - NIGHT) Don't put your action lines in brackets. You don't properly introduce your characters. I wouldn't bother using camera angles/shots like CUTAWAY TO unless its a shooting script. To be honest, its not very well written. A lot of the action lines don't sound right and the dialogue could be better. 'He stares for a while before Sam shouts for him to keep up' - a line like this could be written better ya know what I mean. Just read more scripts and take notes as you read them to get a better idea. Also get your hands on Celtx or other free screenwriting software, it makes it so much easier Hope this helps. Keep writing and good luck -Gavin |