New! Mother Funner "Thornz and Undee Sittin' in a Tree" by Kari Kluter - Series - Thornz wins a pair of Madison's underwear, names it Undee and falls in love with it. At a restaurant, Thornz sees Undee hanging out with another man and sells her to the man, not knowing that Undee is worth 5 million dollars. Madison and Thornz have to get Undee back before the man sells her. Also, Tiffany takes her Soy Cow, Smoothie, to the doctor, because Smoothie has Soy Cow Osteoporosis. 26 pages - pdf, format

New! Mother Funner "Madison Gets a New Tongue" by Kari Kluter - Series - After getting their pictures taken with Soy Cow Milk moustaches, Thorax buys a cat who gets stuck to Madison's tongue. A paramedic accidentally rips off Madison's tongue, while removing the cat. Also, Tiffany visits her Soy Cow, Tiffany Jr., in the hospital, while Madison is having her tongue sewn back on. 31 pages - pdf, format


Mother Funner "Cat Got Your Tongue?" by Kari Kluter - Series - A Persian cat gets stuck to Madison's tongue, and a paramedic accidentally rips off Madison's tongue. Madison has her tongue sewed back on. Also, Tiffany visits Tiffany Fajita-Llama Jr. in the hospital. 17 pages - pdf, format

Mother Funner "Madison Gets a New Tongue" by Kari Kluter - Series - After getting their pictures taken with Tiffany Milk moustaches, Thorax buys a cat who gets stuck to Madison's tongue. A paramedic accidentally rips off Madison's tongue, while removing the cat. Also, Tiffany visits her Soy Cow, Tiffany Jr., in the hospital, while Madison is having her tongue sewn back on. 31 pages - pdf, format

Mother Funner "Thornz and Madison's Underwear Sittin' in a Tree" by Kari Kluter - Series - Thornz wins a pair of Madison's underwear, names it Undee and falls in love with it. At a restaurant, Thornz sees Undee hanging out with another man and sells her to the man, not knowing that Undee is worth 5 million dollars. Madison and Thornz have to get Undee back before the man sells her. Also, Tiffany takes her Soy Cow, Smoothie, to the doctor, because Smoothie has Soy Cow Osteoporosis. 26 pages - pdf, format

A lot of back and forth dialogue...I don't really care for the characters by page 3 and most of the humor isn't funny to me. Sorry. I tried.

Kari, you posted similar scripts several years ago.  At least those were formatted properly and had an acceptable-looking font.  This one does not.  Since you didn't reply to readers' comments back then, I don't expect you to reply here.

For this reason, I won't comment on your script.


Phil

The log line gave away the content. Ug.

I'm nowhere close to good at structure but this is not even close.

I dislike house cats from the start so maybe I shouldn't.....

M/

Well, here is how I see it....The Format is good and well structured, but this "COMEDY WANNA BE" style doesn't work unfortunately. Try to appear normal through your characters. Maybe you can try to apply some of your characteristics to the story. It can reveal some hidden, and maybe funny elements. Who knows...?? Give it a try next time