The Shadow of Ozion by Navinder Singh - Short, Drama, Thriller - Upon discovering he has a brain tumor and less than a year to live, an alcoholic seeks out his old college roommate and tries to wreck his marriage because he’s still in love with him. - pdf, format

Hi, Navinder.

You say this is a short, but it's 54 pages long. That's quite a loose definition of 'short' you got there.

Is the whole script in bold?

Avoid putting in camera directions like 'Angle on'. Unless this is a shooting script and you're the director, i'd just leave them out.

A couples of "we's" floating about.

Some punctuation errors like missing full stops floating about too.

I only read a couple of pages because you incorrectly categorised the script as a short.

Hey Navinder.

A lot of camera directions and direction shots in these opening pages.  As a spec script, you'll be better off leaving those things out and stick with getting the story across.  The CAMERA POV at page three is okay but the rest I would cut out.  I feel it ruins the flow of the story but that's just my opinion.

I see your "bump" comment above so I'm guessing you're really wanting some more reviews.  I can say that this site is a give-and-take community.  If you're after reviews, try giving a few and you'll see that members here will be much more inclined to help you out.  Wish you the best.

Johnny

I actually like the "bold" look.